Secrets don't make friends!!!

     I have been thinking about us very much the past several days. I still have no voice. It's been hard to talk about what my feelings are about the dares. I think that's why I'm so thankful for blogger. I can let my husband hear my thoughts through my writing. But I've been thinking about my husband, my relationship with God, and my relationship with my husband. I prayed to help me calm myself, to be less anxious, and to be less needy. Bert and God are the only two things I need in my life. Everything else just falls into place.
     I looked up scriptures in the bible about being calm. I found this one I really related to : I will instruct you, and teach you the way to go; I will watch over you and be your adviser. Psalm 32:8. That verse is just very calming. Our foot notes in our bible tells us, not to be like the horse that will not go where it's rider wants it to go. It has to be disciplined because it is stubborn. God does not want to muzzle or bridle his people like a horse. He expects his servants to respond promptly to Him of their own accord. Then I could only imagine, when we have a dispute, Bert asking our neighbor for her bridle for her horse for me! EYE OPENER! Honey, I promise to be more self disciplined. It will take time. But I don't like being stubborn. I'm not like that horse all of the time!! And I don't ever want to be like that horse again!!
     I have always found Matthew 6:25-34 to calm me when I am anxious at night and having problems sleeping. "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you  not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor, spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these..."
     What this tells me is that we don't always give priority to what we really should. What matters shouldn't matter the most. God and my husband should only be the good things I think about at night before I rest. Not any other matters... God knows our tomorrows. I should get plenty of sleep at night. My mind shouldn't wonder all over the place and race with anxiety. I should desire God and give my anxious troubles to him. It's easier said than done sometimes. I mean who from time to time doesn't worry and loose sleep. Why  has it become so normal for us to not always put our faith in the Lord? And why do we think we can fix a problem when we can't?
     Getting back to today's dare on secrets, I will safeguard our secrets in a fireproof box with lock and key. I already do. He is my everything. I will not break that trust and speak with anyone else about my husbands personal feelings, thoughts... I maybe the only one who knows. I confide in my husband a lot.  I think it's okay to have that one particular person to confide in that's a female who has been there before you. I mean, been in your shoes. Married a long time. One that can give you advice. Because you know you share the same aspects in a marriage. But I don't tell her the deepest darkest secret.
     But that also got me to thinking. Does my husband have secrets? IF so, if he shared them with me would they be secrets? Unless he specifically said, don't tell so and so. I mean yeah, I'm clear on that one. But I don't think secrets personally are good in any kind of relationship. Secrets don't make friends. The break up friendships. I don't want our  marriage to break up because I happen to tell a secret and didn't know it was just supposed to be us. I tell my husband EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. I do tell him important things going on in my life. But never thought of one of them really being a secret. He shares with me from time to time about issues at work. I know those would be secrets. But I'm not going to run to his co-workers and blab on Bert.
     Secrets bring in that key word TRUST. Trust is one thing in life that seems to get damaged at a very early age for almost anyone. Take a look at  your childhood friends, how many of them do you still have? Was this based upon them pinky swearing to not to tell a secret. And then they told you and it hurt you and broke their trust? However, Bert, thank heavens, is one of those rare individuals in life that you could literally trust with your life. In the midst of my illnesses, and unemployment issues, family crises and well every day life, everything that life has thrown at a couple... he never gave up. If I have any secrets I know they are in that fireproof  safe with Bert locked with a key to his heart.
    Just as I hope he knows they are safe with me too!! I LOVE YOU HONEY!