Rewrite your wedding vows!

     Our life together is before us. I dared to do the Love Dare, and I don't want to ever let this experience go. I'm so thankful for the dare. I'm thankful for today's dare. I was able to look back and use some sayings from the Love Dare in our marriage vows. I'm happy to report that our marriage couldn't be any happier! Well, maybe if we found a suitcase full of 1 million bucks! lol.
     Bert and I went about doing the dares strong willed and God involved. When we put God first in our marriage, everything else fell into place. We have been having a rough patch for the past few months, but with our marriage mentors and reading daily in the bible, it's really helped release extra stress. God has come into our lives and heard our prayers. We have been happier in the past few days as we have been in the whole five years!!! We pray every night and morning as a couple and are regullarly going to church as a couple. Things are better than ever, thanks to God and the Love Dare. Love is out there, you just  have to fight for it and fireproof your marriage!
     This really has been the best VALENTINES DAY Gift I could have given our marriage, beats flowers, chocolates, ect.

     Writing today's vows, I found myself putting words from the Love Dare in there. Words like Biggest Fan, the verse from Ruth, even included the words Love Dare, but I really want to make this a testament to the value of marriage in Gods eyes and the high honor of being one with my husband! I have listed my vows. I was watching Just Married last night. Found the best opening part my vows from that movie. =) But I loved it. And it's so true!!!

Heather: I,Heather Guidry, take you, Bert Guidry, to be my wedded husband. Some days, we love each other. Some days we have to work at loving each other. You never see the hard days in a photo album, but those are the ones that get you from one happy snap shot to the next. Bert Guidry, I will first live unto our God and then unto you, loving you, always respecting, caring for you, and seeking to please you. God has prepared us with the Love Dare in 40 days, for the rest of our life. God has worked over time to prepare you for me. I will always do my best to be your biggest fan, through out life, no matter what may be ahead of us. Where ever you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Most of all, our marriage will be ours. I give myself to you and commit to this marriage for life. I take you Bert Guidry, to be my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live.

Heather: Bert, I love you. I prayed that God would lead me to his choice. Today, I take you to be my husband. Together we will create a home, under God, becoming part of one another God wants us to become. I vow to  help create a life that we can cherish, inspiring your love for me, and mine for you. I vow to be honest, caring and truthful, to love you as you are and not as I want you to be, and to grow old together by each others side as your love and best friend. 

Because Love Never Fails

      I was reminded last night of 1 Cor 13:5, love takes no count. Love doesn't add up the evil. I am sad that tomorrow is the last day of the Love Dare, I have enjoyed this Love Dare 110%. I want to continue to spend time with my husband and do all the small things we have done for each other in this dare. I want to continue to write letters, buy little gifts because I love you, write letters, go on dates, not just because the Love Dare tells us.... because I want to be reminded everyday that I love you, and you love me... Till Death Do Us Part, because Love Never Fails....

     I feel God is working in my heart, and working in my husbands. I'm so glad we are almost complete with this journey together. Today, we were to write letters to one another explaining we loved the other until death do us part. Bert always commands at how great my writing skills are... today, Berts letter made me cry. I don't think Bert was expecting a wave of tears after I read his letter. But I felt God moved both of us in such a way with this love dare. Bert and I will be forever changed by this Love Dare... and I don't know if I said it at all, but big kudos to my friend Brooke for introducing the dares to us again!

Live the Answer to the Question

    Today's Love Dare challenges you to do something out of the ordinary for your loved one. To go above and beyond what you normally do, instead of saying, "NO..." say, lets see how we can do that and make it a dream/go to achieve. Then, do it!
    My husband has lost of dreams. Some he shares with me, and I know he has secret dreams. I haven't asked my husband about today's dare yet, he hasn't done it. I'm sure I will see something like he thinks I should ask him to call out for work to spend a night with me undivided. A night where everyone else thinks he is working. Or, I'm sure he will say she will want to go to a bed and breakfast. Those are my simple dreams. One that you can't put a price on, the other you can. Or  I'm sure one of his thoughts might be that my dream would be for his music to slow down or for him to say no to a future gig on his off weekend.
     The thing is my husbands "mapped out" music dreams here lately just don't seem to include much "us..." time. Any of the above listed would be great. I used to not let things become so overwhelming and busy that it seemed like he didn't have time for me. I guess that was the kid in me. Now, I'm seeing the adult approach. Music takes up so much time, I miss the time we used to have. I would love that back.
     I want my husband to understand, I just care about him. He isn't getting any younger. I want to spend as much time as I can with him while I can... and hopefully NOT beg for it. Lately here I've been doing a lot of begging for emotional personal time. I shouldn't have to beg. But he is so heavily involved with his  music, he often forgets I'm there. That's how I've been feeling. I hate admitting to being that girl, but yes... I just want to for one of my dreams when asked, have a much needed quality time alone night with just my hubby. That's my dream. Doesn't matter where, doesn't matter when... just soon!
    
    

Permanent Prayer Partner for Life

     I personally love this dare and was waiting on a dare like this to come about. I'm glad that this dare is in the book. Bert and I have done a couples bible study and we started doing that last year. He more so than I was a little uncomfortable. I know he prays. But doing out loud with me, might also become a little uncomfortable. I don't want to make him do anything he doesn't want to do, but with this dare, I hope he accepts the challenge.
     I respect my husband. I know that he is  a praying man and is praying for me. I am so thankful for a praying husband (even though silent) and knowing that we pray whispers for each other all day every day. But I still think this love dare will bring us closer into praying aloud for one another.
     Just got done telling him this morning, you can't pray for your finances and sit here and not help me balance and keep the check book right. I've been sick all week. I expected the books to be kept neat the same way I had been keeping them. I guess I need to pray for my husband to be a little neater with his ledger. What is it with men and notebooks? They can keep a house spotless (mine can) but a notebook so unreadable! ha! Babe, I love you!!! And I'm praying for you to come together and pray with me soon!! You will be glad you shared your thoughts!

Read your bible EVERY DAY ::: COMMIT TOGETHER!

     I need Gods counsel in my life to help me quit smoking. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I just found out that I have pneumonia. I feel I am susceptible to failure in this because I have friends that are smokers. My husband smokes. We are in the bar atmosphere a lot. We will it seems always be around that kind of behavior.
     I'm praying that God can show me more verses like Philippians 4:13. Verses to give me the strength and the want to quit smoking. I'm doing this for my health.
     I hope my husband is open to having a daily reading. A reading where, cell phones are turned off, tv is off, with maybe a little low gospel music in the background. I made the trip to Booksamillion last week and got us a pair of daily journals. I've read only three in mine. I've slacked because Bert hasn't picked up his yet. Maybe, he will pick up his after he reads this devotional for today.
    I hope so. =) First he has to commit to do it. I don't want to pressure him. I really hope he does. I pray for him every day to pick up a new chapter in the bible just like I do and share it with me. He does every so often. But I'd like for it to be every day! I pray for him that it is every day!

Love Dare Day 36

     Well, I'm sick again. The doctor I went and saw yesterday said I have pneumonia. More rounds of antiboitics (sp) pills steroids. I tried to read today's love dare, but I just couldn't concentrate. However, I have quit smoking for two days. I'm praying that God will allow me to quit smoking for good. My neighbor I picked as my mentor said a few sweet things to me this morning. Blessings. =) Hopefully I will get over this cold soon, so I can get back to finishing the love dare, and reading more in my bible.

Marriage Mentor

     Bert and I from time to time do need a referee.  We do need some counsel from time to time. What couple doesn't? I have chosen a couple that goes to church with us, and they are our neighbors. She said her and her husband come as a pair and I could talk to either one of them if need be. She said she would be a great cheerleader for Bert and I.
     Bert and I do from time to time run into trouble. But we work things out. I would choose my mother, but that would be the leaving issue. Bert seems to think I tell my mom too much. But I do always appreciate her opinions as well. I look up to my mother and use her as an example. My Dad and her have been through so much and still married for almost 35 years.
     I am glad I listen to both my mother and my neighbor. I know sometimes that 40 days isn't enough and it's going to be sad seeing the Love Dare pass us by when it's complete. The Love Dare is like a diet, you don't stop when you reach your goal, you change your habits to maintain it. I'm so in love with my husband and more and more; I'm in love with God. I have been able to realize that I don't control everything, that I don't have to.
     God is first, then my husband. I feel that God is going to use my husband and I as a vessel and a voice through the Love Dare and after the Love Dare. God can mend and repair anything. God longs to come through us, in our daily life. And through prayer God allowed me to ask my neighbors to be our counsels. We don't need marriage counseling. But it's always nice to have a healthy set of Christian friends to talk things over with. I couldn't think of anyone better than my neighbors to help us along the way!!!
    




    

Real Life

     I have learned some amazing things about myself and my husband just by doing the love dare. We have both opened ourselves to God and let God work through us. I am so glad to have been led to the Love Dare. I just said yesterday that the closer we grow to God, the closer we grow to each other.
     God has big things in the future for my husband and I. Just the other day I wanted to praise Bert for finding a drummer and guitar player to play bass with in church. I really wanted to tell him and let him know, that his music is a gift from God. He needs to play in church a few times out of the month and send praises himself to God for allowing him to have such a talent that he does.
     He is an awesome musician, and I'm a very blessed woman. So many people the other night were asking the name of my husbands band, I shared, and they loved it. Back 2 Soul. In a way, I feel the name is perfect. Getting back to basics if you will, with yourself. I feel that's what Bert and I are doing, with the love dare.
     Just this morning, I want to tell Bert I was proud of him. He woke up at 7 and made use of his morning. He did the love dare, cleaned the kitchen dishes, and read a few chapters in Isaiah. I was very pleased. The bible says to save your heartiest congratulations with your spouse when they are honoring God with their worship and obedience. Maybe my daily morning bible reading is starting to rub off a bit on him. lol.
     I have to read the bible in the morning! I must. It starts out my day great. I can almost hear the Devil saying, UGH OH-She's AWAKE! lol. That's right, awake and guarded by reading the word. And I agree, that from the moment you close your bible in the morning, nearly everything during the day will be a far fletched stretch of the truth. But the meaning of "REAL LIFE" changes dramatically when we understand that God's Word is the ultimate expression of what real life is.

Dear Honey,

     I looked online for ways to surprise your spouse. Just something special that I could do to show you I loved you. I decided to not go tonight to give you an evening alone to do what you want... that was on the list was giving your husband a free night with the guys...
     I decided to be indapendant and stay at home tonight to watch movies and play with the kitties. I know you love your music, and need guy time. I decided to give you some free time. It's my way of saying, go ahead take off, have a guy night, have fun! I know who you are coming home too! I promise not to resent the time away. I'll hold down the fort with the dog and the cats until you get home!!!
     I also left a little note on your facebook!! Hope you like it, it reads, I am very proud to call you my best friend, Happy to call you my lover, and blessed to call you my husband!! =)
     I also don't expect anything in return, but I think tomorrow I have a plan for us!! This was also on the 10 ways to surprise your spouse. Go to a bookstore or music store together, then split up. Your mission: buy something you know they'll love. Then wrap and exchange at dinner!! I think that would be fun!!

Just six more days!!!

     Just six more days!! I only feel bad that we took two days off for a mini vacation. If we hadn't taken them off, however, our dares would not have been right on target. Each dare we each grow closer to God. Also, the closer we grow to each other. Just growing in our faith, grows us as a couple. How amazingly beautiful this entire experience really has been.
     I just wanted to write and express how much I have loved accepting the dares. And previous dares are becoming more of a daily routine now. I'm glad we have our own copies of the book. As I know, and need to be reminded of some of the dares daily.
     I want to celebrate over the triumph of the dare in our marriage!! I'm looking forward to reading the next six dares. Looking forward to it enough I want to read ahead!! But then I don't have a day to reflect on each dare!! lol. I'm also happy that my husband can see a success in our marriage already!
     Just shows us that God and marriage are a beautiful thing together!

Bert completes me

     God is right on time with this dare for today. One question in the dare reads, do you have big decision making to do regarding your finances? Eye opener!! Bert just last week gave me the bank ledger and said, here honey, your in charge. But we both still are in charge of the bank ledger. I'm just keeping a log of my own instead of using a checkbook, I'm using a notebook.
     That's a big decision Bert made on his own. He handed it to someone who is bad in math, but thank goodness for calculators! Bert used to hate to talk about finances with me. And now, we can both take the weight and do it together. This goes along with the "oneness and unity," mentioned in today's dare again.
     I love being able to help Bert with finances. Not that he was bad at it before, but I couldn't imagine doing it all on my own. I want to show him I appreciate his hard work, and I can show him that by taking charge in finances and using money for what it needs to be used for, over wants.
     Today the dare has pointed out to me that my role in marriage is just as important as my husbands. I used to just stand there and nod while Bert talked about finances and money. Now, I know what's going on. I don't have to just nod. We can both help each other manage money and be effecient with our banking.
     As long as Bert and I work on this together, we can do this! I think we also  need to set aside some one on one time and pray about our finances together. We need to pray that God will help us so things can get better around here. Not that it's bad, it's been a blessing. God has shown us we can make it through tough financial issues. I'm so thankful for today's dare. However, I know this will be one that we might have to go back and re-read again even after we complete day 40.
  

Love Dare Day 32

     Kinda amusing that this dare ended up being on an important night in our relationship. The dare, try to initiate sex with your husband today. Yesterday's dare was a blessing to both of us. God allowed us to have a very enjoyable experience together.
     In regards to the dare, sex/intimacy has never been an issue with Bert and I. We have always had a healthy sex life. Reflecting on the dare, I love how it showed the spiritual side of intimacy. There was nothing more beautiful than sharing this dare with my husband, who I love so much.
     The rest of my thoughts on this dare will be written in the pages provided in the book!! No, not sharing the entire experience on a blog!! lol. Sorry!!!


    

Dare to walk as ONE

     God's decision to make you "one flesh" in marriage can make anything possible. With God all things are possible!!

     You are able to achieve oneness in your decision making, even when you begin from differing viewpoints.
     You are able to achieve oneness in your priorities, even though you've come together from backgrounds that could  hardly be more different.
     You are able to achieve oneness in your sexual affections toward each other, even if either of you both have memories of impurity in your pre-maritial past.

     The only leaving issue Bert and I had discussed was, I tend to tell my parents a lot. But that's only because they ask questions and they care about what Bert and I are doing. I don't tell them everything. If they ask, I will tell them. I don't like to hide anything from my parents. I'm always very open when talking to my parents. And I know Bert feels blessed to have good mother and father in laws. Family is so important in a marriage.
     I mentioned one in law issue on Bert's side. It has stopped. But it still rings in my ears. I told him I would leave it behind. I've already forgiven. I also need to forget and leave the problem. This kind of thinking will allow Bert and I to move forward and leave little tiny things like this behind us. It's one less thing to worry about.
     I love my husband very much. I respect what he pointed out to me. I know he respects what I pointed out to him. This is a very important dare, and I'm so glad I could share this with my husband, and I know he is glad he could share is thoughts with me.
    



  

Love Brings Unity

     I want this to be a good conversation with my husband. Isolate one area of division in your marriage. Look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it.  I want to let my husband know, I feel a bit left out when he plays his music and he doesn't talk to me about booking gigs. I want to discuss this freely and openly. I want to discuss a fair strategy for future dates booked.
     I hope he doesn't see this as me being selfish, or nagging him about his music once again. You see, he used to always ask, is it okay if I book a gig on this date? He is so excited he has a great band going. I understand and share his excitement.
     I wish that he would be glad that I want to be a part of his music, as much as I want to be a part of him.   I just feel that he plays so much now, that it's taking away from our unity.  I mean, just because he has an off weekend, doesn't mean he has to spend it playing music.
     We could take the motorcycle somewhere. We could take a mini weekend vacation. I mean I could see him playing one night out of the weekend. And leaving one night for he and I. And this doesn't have to be every weekend. Just maybe one weekend out of the month as a get away weekend.
     I will listen to what he has to say. I know he has been listening to my wants and needs. He has already found a drummer and  a guitar player to play a few songs in our church together one Sunday out of the month. I hope to see God show my husband it's okay to take a break from playing music and spend "Unity" time with me.
     I want God to show Bert, that just because the phone is ringing off the hook to play dates, doesn't mean he has to take them. I want God to show Bert, that it's okay to say no, I want some time this weekend with my wife. He sometimes acts like he would be letting his band mates down. In reality he lets me down playing music all the time.
     I want him to be able to actually appriciate an off weekend. Not being rushed to go anywhere. Not having to eat out and be on the go. One where we can do things around the house. Cut the grass he has been talking about doing. Things like that.
     And if this is called me being selfish, then I ask God to take the selfishness out of my heart. Today's dare seems to be just a continuing work on the same issue. I'm the one causing the division with my selfishness. God has been showing me a little at at time that I need to focus more on Him. And not put my trust/hope in outside influences.
     What does this all mean for me? I pray for God to take my mind off of ME. And what my NEEDS are. And to focus it on my husband and God. I know this will get easier with time. I want to commit to God and my husband and make my marriage the top priority over every other human relationship and earthly activity.

I will follow you

     Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me. Psalm 119:133

     Today's DSRWJ reminded me of my favorite poem:

Love is tangible!

     I hate to disappoint anyone, but Dare 29 is something I do almost twice a day. I pray often that my husbands day will be filled with blessings and telling my husband I love him is very easy (more than 90% of the time!) This dare was no dare at all!!!
     But lets take a look at the meaning of tangible...
     Possible to touch.
     I am reminded of a quote from the movie A Walk to Remember, "Our love is like the wind. You can't see it, but you can feel it.
     It also means possible to understand or realize. We are supposed to express love to our hubby in some tangible way today. I want Bert to understand and realize that I love him unconditionally, the way God loves both of us.
     Talking to my friend about this dare she suggested I get three tangerines and carve in them I <3 U! This Dare inspires me to continue to keep praying for my husband. Show him daily in my actions that  I love him in concrete! Because it is set in stone. He knows I do, but maybe I should show him more with little tiny tangible things and ways.
     I think this is a good dare for anyone. I've been challenged today to think of the tangible way to show love, since we always say I love you. We are still in the honey moon stage. We say I love you a lot still. So saying I love you in a meaningful way because of the dare to show him it's about the dare, will be a challenge. I think getting the tangerines would be a good start!!! He likes little things like that.
     Irvington Minute Mart here I come!!!

Our Love Dare #29 said to say I love you in a tangible way...
I decided to carve out I ♥ U in tangerines! I left them on Bert's computer. Today's dare was easy. We constantly tell each other we love the other one. We are still in our "Honeymoon" stage I guess!! So, I had to make an impact on this saying I love you... here it is!!!

  

Ask in prayer

     "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:22

     Today's DSRWJ says to pray for your children. I have no children of my own, however I have six step kids I love just the same. I also have three babies that walk on fours, covered in fur. Five if you count the chickens!  Today's prompt says, Lord, please provide those things that they (children) need, and fill them with contentment as they bask in the warmth of your love.
     Berts kids were already almost grown and married and had families of their own when we met. The youngest two boys and I really get along for the most part of every day life. I used to see them every other weekend on visits. That is until they got older and started having their own schedules in life.
     Bert and I have two cats that we call ours. Melody, Bert named... and Shanobi came to us with her name. I love them to death. I tell each cat in the morning that I love them, and before I go to bed at night. I also buy them little treats during the course of a couple of days. Those treats I feel show them Mom and Dad of the fur babies love them.

If Bert and I had kids of our own, they would be just as spoiled as these cats. I see how Bert loves these cats and I see the love he shared with his kids before I came along. I see the love he shares with his kids now. 

     I have heard that praying for your children is often neglected. But everyone should be prayed for, even your pets! I also looked up some other scriptures about praying for your child     Deut 6:6-7 is pretty clear that God's will for you as a parent is also said, do not neglect prayer with your children. 

     I know my parents prayed with me the nightly prayers as a kid. I know they also prayed for me. I had several health issues when I was younger. I know I'm sure there was at least more than one time being sick I scared my mother half to death and had to be rushed to the ER with Asthma. 

     We need to depend on God for our lives as well as our children's. Pray often for your child, pray with your child, and you can still pray as a couple with your child even as they get older. =)

     

     

    

My sacrifice Love Dare Day 28

     In reading today's love dare, some of this hit home once again. You are supposed to ask yourself these questions....

Is he "hungry?" - needing you sexually, even when you don't feel like it?

Is she "thirsty?" - craving the time and attention you seem to be able to give everyone else?

Does he feel like a "stranger" - insecure in his work, needing home to be a refuge and sanctuary?

Is she "naked?" - frightened or ashamed, desperate for the warm covering of your loving affirmation?

Is he feeling "sick" - physically tired and needing you to help guard him from interruptions?

Does she feel in "prison" - fearful and depressed, needing some safety and intervention?

     God is using me to speak about our circumstances right now. It's amazing how much the love dares have been right on target in our life at that moment. I'm sure my husband would say, he needs me sexually, but sometimes I just don't feel like it. Times when I just don't feel like it, is when I feel like I am, "thirsty" for his time and attention he seems to give everyone else but me. God is allowing me to use this blog as a place to talk it out with him. I hope he has been reading my blog lately. Not sure if he has been or not... haven't been getting many comments lately. But I want to see that he is serious about finding some answers for me.
     The Dare mentions the words, "How can I help you?" I used to work fast food. I'd come home at night and I'd dream about saying, "How can I help you? Would you like to add three shrimp for $.99? Would you like fries and a drink with that?" But sometimes around the house, it's easy to forget those three words, "How can I help you..."
     When I ask him, sometimes all he says is, I just want some lovin'. I guess I don't need to be afraid and ask him, spend some time with me today. I should ignore the headache I get at the end of the day due to a busy schedule and give my husband some lovin'. And he should ignore a phone call or two and rush someone off the phone while we are eating dinner together that I have fixed for us and spend time with me.
     The dare also says, when you help them, you are also helping yourself. That's the beautiful part of sacrificing for your spouse. Jesus did it for us. And he wants you and your spouse to do that for each other. Today's dare is to propose to do what you can do to meet the greatest need in your spouses life right now. 1 John 3:16.
     I propose tonight to have another dinner ready. Maybe this time I will go to the dollar store and pick up some candles and have a candle lit dinner for two with a beer, followed by a relaxing bath and some Bert and Heather time. I hate to do it, but I will unplug the house phone, unplug his computer, turn off my phone, and turn off his phone. Just to get some undivided attention from him when he gets home from work.
     It shouldn't be a tit for tat. I shouldn't hold out on him because I feel he is holding out on me. But sometimes when I feel my needs aren't met, then why should I meet his? Why should I be the one doing all the sacrificing? Sacrifices should be met daily to meet the needs of others. Including your spouse.
     In closing there are days we both make sacrifices for our well being and we do work together to ensure that everything else is taken care of. The being he is hungry and I am thirsty just really spoke to me. I've decided to use this blog to communicate with him on it.
     I need to also start asking myself more, how can I meet his needs, and not how he can meet my needs. That is after all what a relationship is supposed to be. It's been so busy here lately that I feel it's been hard to even try to meet each others needs. I guess that is normal from time to time. That is just why I have been praying for things to slow down. That way I can take the time out to listen to his needs. Even if that means both of us saying no to our favorite activities. We have to remember it's okay to say NO from time to time. Just because someone calls, we don't have to jump.
     I'm asking my husband, if dinner isn't enough, is there any other need that I can meet this evening for you? I think I will even call him and ask him, is there anything I can do to make your evening better tonight when you get home from work? Just hope he has the time to listen to me asking him the question while he is at work!!

Acceptance DSRWJ Day 2

      Proverbs 19:8 to get wisdom is to love oneself, to keep understanding is to prosper.

     Jesus accepted everyone while  he was walking this earth. We should follow in Jesus' footsteps.
     Our verse tells us today that, if you can accept yourself, you will be more able to accept the idiosyncrasies of others. If you are patient with your self, you will almost certainly be more tolerant toward your loved ones. If you can forgive yourself, you can forgive others. Acceptance gradually becomes a way of life.
     How many times was the mention of yourself listed above? Three times. Acceptance must first start with you accepting yourself.
     Lets look at what accept means. Accept means, recognize as true or believe. I was always taught that you must first accept Jesus in your life, before you can start accepting yourself and others. It's important that we accept God.
     If we accept God in our life, then others will see God is in our life. Then maybe others will accept God to. We as Christians are not supposed to want to be accepted by anyone but God. God accepts you scars and all.
     Once you realize that, then you can start accepting yourself as God sees you. Perfect with flaws.
  

Love Dare Day 27 Great Expectations

      "You must choose to live by encouragement rather than by expectations."
      In stead of nitpicking, and trying to change your partner, instead of focusing on what is wrong with them. Encourage them. The Lord knows, I nitpick. I need to choose to find ways to lift my husband instead of pushing buttons. Even if he pushes my buttons, I shouldn't push his, not even at all. I want find my best self and can't do it with someone pushing my buttons, let alone pushing someone else's buttons. And if Bert and I both take this dare seriously than any other dare, through positive encouragement we can totally leave out the nagging all together. I want to be the best wife for him, and I want us to have the best relationship minus the nagging.
     I am a pack rat. Not a hoarder. Just, I like to save little momento's. Bert knew this when we got married. He recently laughed and said, you even saved the hotel room keys? Now, was he politely nagging and trying to tell me to throw them away, or was he surprised that I saved them?
     Bert might say, I'm a slob. There is a difference between a slob and someone who saves nick nacks. When I first met Bert, he had a clean freak ocd. I changed that. I like clean. I don't like clutter, but clean. Our dining room table is taken over by stuff, and our kitchen counter is taken over by stuff. When I first moved it, it was not this bad. I like to hold on to memories ect. keep them for as long as I can.
     However, Bert knew what he was getting into. He doesn't nag me too often about. But I do have to take a little extra time going through it when I clean. But I do need to let one of these obessions go and just give it to God. I really don't think I need to keep each movie ticket, or each hotel room key... do I?
     I know this is the one thing that Bert wishes to nag about, even though he doesn't do this often. But I'm choosing to let this one thing go about me. I'm going to release it from me, take it off my shoulders Lord. Remind me, that's why we have trash cans!!!! It's an on going thing for me, to save the memory, or save the night, I even save wrist bands from concerts !! I have so many of those in my car!! But I need to just let it go!
     I think if I go through and really clean then Bert will see that I've had a changed heart from the Love Dare. I will do this for him. He didn't really put any great expectations for me to be a neat freak like him. But I know he didn't expect a memory savor!!!! lol. I think to solve that issue, I'll save some money and get a scrapbooking kit. I have a box I can put some of the momento's in now. PROJECT!!
     The only hope or great expectation I have of my husband, is that I hope his music slows down for a bit. Just for a bit. A pause for the cause. I'm expecting too much on this issue. He says, we met doing it. But I was rather pleased hearing Bert tell Bob, I think I'd like to get a church band together. Sighs! Now that would be very neat to do one Sunday out of the month. I'm looking forward to the things that God will do for my husband and his music talent. Being it in a bar, or church. I'd rather it be in church. =)
     I will say this, Bert does help out around the house a lot and he doesn't expect me to do everything. We serve each other; well we give it a shot anyway for the most part. When I'm behind on dishes or laundry he helps  me out, when he is behind I call and ask what I can do for him at work. And I get it done when I can. I have long since eliminated unrealistic expectations; in fact, I don't live in a dream world, and my movie might not end with "Happily Ever After..." but some days do, and some days don't. I don't pay attention to detail when it comes to things like that. I know when he comes home from work he is sleepy. I try and manage on my own. He sees it's the best I can do. He does give me words of encouragement time to time. Just sometimes he doesn't take time to notice because he is sleepy, and I've accepted that.
     I know the Love Dare is changing him, just he other day I mopped the kitchen. He tracked in mud from his shoes. He found himself saying, I'm sorry for tracking in mud on your clean kitchen floor. He noticed. Words of encouragement!! He then went and mopped up the area he had tracked in. Made me fell loved that he took the time to notice the small things!! It's the small things that count!!! Like, words of encouragement, not great expectations!

Daily Spiritual Refreshment for Women

     One of our Love Dares this week said, be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your  bible. As you do immerse yourself in the Love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth and walk with him.
     I went to Books A Million today and made two purchases. The Daily Spiritual Refreshment for Women Journal, and then God is Calling for Bert. It's a daily 365 bible study. Today's for me is,
     "The Joy of the Lord is in your strength." Nehemiah 8:10. The prompt tells us, it really is possible to find joy even if bills are adding up and the  baby is crying and dinner has to be fixed. Can you really rejoice and be glad in the midst of such trials? Of course you can! Joy is a choice, like our love dare. Love is a choice. I choose to love. I choose to have joy! Rejoice dear one, rejoice!
     It is possible that you can have joy everyday you live. I feel so good after reading todays Love Dare and today's you can be joyous everyday. Think about how people dislike having to pay taxes during tax season. You really get in these moods because of anticipating money. I'm sure people get on their knees and pray a lot more during tax season in hopes of getting the money back they deserve. To go on the trip they have been dying to go on, or get that one vehicle, ect.
     We must say to ourselves, I can be joyous even if I don't get that vacation or that amount of money back. Be happy with what you already have. Be happy and joyous with what you are given during tax season. If you don't get back what you thought you were, be happy. Be happy you got anything back at al from Uncle Sam. Many people are out of work and can't file taxes. Be thankful and joyous you are able to collect and get back what you deserve.
     Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes you need to heal to become joyous. After the healing, and praying to God for being healed, you begin to start to see everything in a new way. A new way that can open your heart to finding joy in every day life. One day last week, all of my pencils but one were sharpened. I found joy in just having that one pencil being sharpened. I didn't open up and say, just my luck, I said, Praise God! That was joyous!
     You just have to open your mind and heart to being joyous. Don't settle for just being HAPPY. Pray for God to show you, the ways of being joyous over everything in life!!


PS.
     I finally completed the love dare about having a cooked dinner. Bert and I sat through a meal of chicken, mac and cheese, green beans, cornbread, and rice. We talked to each other and watched a movie. After the dinner, I did the dishes and finished my load of clothes before Bert even had the chance to ask. As I said before, I've learned to like doing the dishes. I found myself the other night asking Bert, did you do MY dishes. He just looked like he had been hit with a stun gun. I want him to know I do listen. I'm growing more and more every day.
    

Love Dare Day 26 Love doesn't make excuses

     This one hit home! Every line I read, I really listened to these words, "Love doesn't make excuses..." I began to think how many things we put off during our day by saying, it can be done tomorrow. I can do it later... or we just know every trick or excuse in the book to not get them done today. Imagine if we treated our husbands like that? Put them off, made excuses to them ect. We don't want them to do that to us.
     I am willing in this case to forgive my husband for his wrongdoings. I am also ready to forgive myself for my wrong doings. I can swallow my pride. It might take time to do this, but I know I can. I try and make up for little spats by doing little things. Those little things would be, leaving sticky notes behind saying I love you, doing the dishes, doing his laundry, running an errand to the grocery store and having dinner ready when he gets home from work.
     I usually can take responsibility after I have had the time to think about what Bert was trying to tell me. I didn't listen like I should have. I do things around the house to show Bert that my actions of I'm sorry are more than just words.
     I am thankful for this dare. It is rather soul searching. Just shows me that there is always room for growth and better. The biggest lesson from this dare is, I will have to change, I can't change my husband. I can only see that my husband is changing. God is speaking through us in this dare in a very healthy way.
     I have to remember it's Gods job to change Bert if and when God is ready. And I know he is ready, I've already seen changes. Good changes. And I pray that Bert can see the change in me as well.
     We are half way through the dare, more than halfway... and I feel like I'm just starting on my journey again. I love this Love Dare!!! I'm so thankful we went to booksamillion and picked it up and decided to stay dedicated to the dare and each other!!
    

Love Dare Day 25 Love forgives!!!

      Today's Dare, whatever you haven't forgiven your mate for, forgive it TODAY! Let it GO. I love my husband so much, I always forgive!!
     I don't like to stay mad longer than five minutes. Sometimes it might be longer. But I don't end up happy with myself if we can't resolve an issue and forgive each other quickly.
     Love keeps no record of wrongs, 1 Cor 13:5.
     This is hard to do. I just can't wrap my mind around the fact, God forgives us of our sins. Some sins we do more than once and he still forgives. But we lay those sins down and ask God to forgive us.
    And God forgives us.
    God wants us to forgive our hubby when we have a disagreement, fight, just think we are plan right and he is just wrong. It's hard sometimes to say I'm sorry and cough it up. But you have to. Nothing like a grudge from not saying I'm sorry and you are forgiven to come up in another disagreement. Love keeps no record of wrongs.
    I can do it. I can release the weight I've been carrying around. Love is about freedom, love is about letting go of wrongs.
    Sometimes you have to forgive yourself first. I know I have to often. I don't want something hanging on my shoulders and stealing my happy bubble!!! I want to first set the example of Gods love to my husband and forgive him. I have already forgiven myself for getting upset about this situation.
     I've been amazed at what I forget when I truly forgive. It may come to mind and it surprises me when it does, but the pain is no longer attached to it. And when something does cause a forgiven wound to reopen, I choose to forgive again.
     Forgiveness allows God to heal all the hurt. I hope I can give the kind of forgiveness that I hope to receive from God and my husband.
     Today I choose to forgive my husband for wanting to do his best and play music as an extra income. Here lately I've been telling him it needs to slow down. He thinks I am telling him in a round about way, that I want him to stop. I should let him play as often as he wants. I should let him do what he was put here on this earth to do and share his love of music and talent of music with others.
     I've been carrying this on my chest for about three weeks now and not forgiving him and him thinking it's his fault that he has to play music for a second income. I feel so much better I just had a huge sigh of relief. I hope he accepts my apology and forgives me for almost beating him to death into thinking I wanted him to quit music. It's something he loves doing and I'm not going to stop him from doing it. But I know he knows where I stand on the issue.
     The possibilities now are that Bert can start booking gigs. He can start back filling in dates. He can start doing what he loves doing knowing I'm not mad at him that it takes up so much time. And that I know it's something he really loves doing, and hey.... he can make extra money on it too!!

Removing the Junk food of lust

     I'm going to admit, this dare will be another hard one for me. I will have to think outside the box on this one for sure! I don't really have any "things... persons... people...." around that tempt me to lust. I need to control my thoughts more about lusting for more he and I, rather than the ex's. Bert and I live in a house where he shared with his ex. I lust for more things that he and I can call "OURS..." I guess I said it. Things.
     Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in Him. 1John 2:15. Lust is a misguided thirst for satisfaction that only God can fulfill.
     When Bert and I got married, we didn't have much time to plan for our wedding. We didn't have any registries. I look back and think, maybe we should have taken the time for registries. I look around, I see a sign that says the Guidry's. That sign was here before me... I shouldn't sound selfish. But it would be nice to make a sign that says, the Guidry's. The Guidry's being Bert and I. I drink out of glasses that were here before me... I used to sleep on sheets that were here before me.
     I really didn't think how much this bothered me, until Bert and I were lucky and found a deal for some living room furniture came that we could call OURS. I just didn't like a daily reminder being around of, "HER..." I was so excited to add new furniture to the house, and call it ours, I called everyone I knew!! lol.
     It breeded anger to me to think, why does he want to keep these things around? If it's a constant reminder to me that she was here before me, does he still think about her? Is there a particular reason he is holding on to these things? I was wondering why he couldn't let go. And in the long run, it was he had let go. I was the one lusting for OURS. Bert had made these things ours.
     I need to start asking myself, "What has God given us..." What has God given me..." I want to find myself so full of what God provided for my husband and I, and that is our marriage. I don't want to lust for anything other than what we already have. There isn't a need to have love vs lust for any one THING other than God and my husband. I want to set my eyes on my spouse again. I want to see what he does for us all the time. What he does for us every day.... not what he can buy to make this house ours. This house is ours. We got married in the back yard. We made it ours when we said I do right in the back yard.
     We are Heather and Bert Guidry. These things are OURS. I am the one being selfish and impatient. I'm going to reopen my heart and my eyes to my husband and God. God made this dare individual for me. I really had to sit in prayer. Until it came to me. I want to appologize to my husband for not thinking that the things around here are good enough for me. They are. Because they are ours. I realize that this need to have so much of OURS has been foolish. I pray God today truly turns my heart around. I want to give praise to God for bringing this dare in my life.
    I love my wonderful husband who has been such a blessing in my life. I'm sorry for putting some extra pressures on our marriage. I hope you will take this as a sincere appology. I want nothing more in life than to love you and God!!!
  
  
  

Love Dare Day 23

     Today's Dare ::: Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that is stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.   Unfortunately your marriage has enemies! Yes, enemies. You need to protect yourself and your marriage from those enemies!
     They come in forms of many shapes and sizes and use different strategies, but nonetheless they still conspire to destroy your marriage, unless you know how to ward them off and protect them. They are, harmful influences, unhealthy relationships, shame, parasites, addictions.
     For me, lets call them habits instead of addictions... one of my daily habits was, my 365 project. I told myself this year I would see how long I could take it. I've gotten tired of it. It I know takes up a lot of my day sitting around trying to think of what to take a picture of... I made it to day 65. I'm proud of myself that I made it that far, but... it's just so time consuming. I don't want my daily picture being a harmful influence in my marriage.
     I say it's harmful, because I just don't say, oh, a picture of a pencil today! No... an entire photo shoot with a pencil today!! When I finally think, oh lets take a photo of a pencil! lol. It just takes up so much time. I can't go out and just take a picture of my front yard. Or just the clouds. It has to mean something. And when it has meaning, I could sit and think of something all day long and even by midnight not really have what I was looking for on my daily photo! lol. SERIOUSLY!
     I know last year I felt bad for Bert. It was almost like I was having a love affair with the computer and flickr and the hum of the soft lullaby of the computer put me to sleep most nights... and not my husband. All to say I took 365 pictures!!!
     So, first I'm throwing out my 365 photos! Good bye 365!!  Doesn't mean I won't take a daily photo anymore, just not go so far into left field with it. Another thing that needs to go as well is, I'm addicted to my SHORT TEMPER! There, I said it. I give into outbursts that shouldn't happen. I should work harder at restraining my mouth and blow off steam by doing something other than slamming doors!
     Both of these will take lots of work on my end to overcome. I've realized two things that first came to mind that are troublesome and I'm taking them out. I've prayed about these and I really don't have any other habits other than the two that I just pointed out. OH YES, I can quit biting my nails too! Bert said he didn't like that about me. That's another habit! That way I can help Bert easily fall asleep at night. Instead of having chipped nails that leave scratch marks on his back.... lol.
    

DAY 22 COMPLETE!!

     Bert posted on his facebook sometime around midnight last night, that he loved his beautiful bride. My response was, "When I tell you I love you, I don't say it out of force of habit, or because I feel I have to - I say it because I just fell deeper in love with you. I say it because I mean it."
     Not knowing what possessed me to come out and be all mushy like this, I ran to my next day for the Love Dare. We are supposed to tell each other that I love you. PERIOD. I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return. I got goose bumps. Little did we know we had completed a dare on our own.
     No matter what his mood, no matter if he nags, no matter if he is sleepy, tired ect, and if we have a spat... we always say, I'm sorry, it's okay, I still love you. I choose to love my husband. It's my choice and my choice a lone. It's based upon my hearts intent to love my husband the way I do.
     Praise the Lord for the Lords faithfulness. I'm thankful my husband still chooses to love with me and say he is sorry and I say so am I. I'm thankful we can forgive each others sins. I'm thankful that we can feel the unconditional Love God wants us  to have toward one another.
     I remember that God is faithful, and God makes miracles happen every day of our life. God is working and listening to our prayers. Good is good all of the time, that is why even when we do get upset, we should treat each other as the golden rule. Even when the going gets tough.

Love Dare Day 21 complete =)

I read up to Matthew 4:4 in the book of Matthew.
It says Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.

our footnotes in the bible tell us

This shows that there is power in scriptures to followers who are against the Devil.
God is the one who sustains all life.
Our responsibility is to trust God and remain in his will.

     As my husband was leaving for work this afternoon, he said if I got bored to please do the load of laundry on the bathroom floor and finish the dishes. Before he was even out the door for work, I had initiated that I would have them started on before he left for work. I got one load of clothes washed and already hung up, and the dishes are done and out of the drainage board from the sink. 
     I wanted to make time for me to spend reading a little in Matthew. I was already reading a little of Matthew last night, but I went back to the beginning and started over as our dare instructed. 
     Satan takes advantage of situations and wants to tempt us. Satan's temptations are often the strongest immediately after we have been remarkably favored. Some of the most powerful temptations of Satan occur when he seems to be urging us to do what shall be the glory of GOD. 
     I usually would have done my laundry on my own time, or when I felt like it. But I wanted to take a little extra time in the word tonight. I'm glad I did. Gee, if I had not listened to my husband and started then, I would have made excuses to not do my laundry. Satan would have gotten the best of me. I would have been lazy and just watched the nightly movie. 
     I wanted to show my husband the Glory I have for him. I wanted my husband to trust me and know that I would get it done. And how today's dare I determined to change my situation and perspective so I could spend more time with God and in the word. I can make God a bigger part of my day by not putting of things until I want them done. Getting them done when they need to be and not letting the pile of clothes get piled into two loads before doing them. There was hardly any dishes in the sink, and there was just enough for one load of clothes. Now I can sit back relax and enjoy my evening with the chores complete and a little bit in the book of Matthew accomplished reading!!! 


HAPPY HEATHER!!! <3

Day 21 Making time

     Today's challenge once again spoke to me in a number of ways. This has been a 21 day  journey so far, and by making it to day 21, We have already made a morning time for an hour to sit and reflect on the day before, and the dare. When I began this book, I would read daily devotionals online through bloggers. I would find a scripture that meant something to me, and I'd go dig for it in the bible. Now, I'm thankful that my husband can join in and be more of a part in this spiritual growth in me. We used to do bible bingo. Bert and I would open up to a page in the bible and read it and reflect on it. Then we would share with what each others verse landed on.
     Now, with the Love Dare, God is directing us both to draw closer to him in such a way, that the bible bingo needs to be bible lingo. It makes such a difference in my day when I start it out with God. This is an area that can be so easily over looked and neglect. It's so very important in our every day life. Letting God come first in your life is what life is all about. If you put God first all other things will come into place where they seem to fit. Quiet time with God is so important. And when you can do that quiet time with the one you love, hubby, it just makes the day seem a little more special.
     This is one thing I always try and accomplish daily, regardless of the fact that I am doing the Love Dare or not. I set aside a portion of my day, usually when I get up to read the bible. And I try to spend time before I got to bed reading those bloggers. One favorite blogger of mine is Proverbs 31 for women. But last night I was directed on my own reading and read, Matthew 5:44, "But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you." Matthew has always been a part of the bible that I always come back to. So many life instructions like the golden rule are in this gospel.
     Since my husband and I are doing the love dare together, I would love to spend some extra time reading the bible with my husband. I already read on my own, but I pray that my husband will take some time out of his busy schedule and share me what's on his mind about God. What God is telling him to pray for, what God is changing in his life. I can see God is changing him. But I want to know more about what my husband feels about our journey with God together. I think that is important for a couple. =)
    

1/2 way there!!!

     There is a quote I am reminded of, the secret of getting things done is to act. I must say I am very proud of my accomplishments thus far with the Love Dare. And I want to give my husband kudos for being a good kind loving person for hanging in there with me. We have acted upon every dare and are able to do things for each other that really show our appreciation for each other.
     THE DARE: Dare to take God at His Word. Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation. Dare to pray, “Lord Jesus, I am a sinner. But You’ve’ shown Your love for me by dying to forgive my sins and You have proven Your power to save me from death through Your resurrection. Lord, change my heart and save me by your grace”.
      Day 20 wasn't much of a dare for me because I ask God daily for forgiveness of my sins. I try to keep sin out of my life. The biggest problem I always ask for is for God to pray for is my mouth. I love the love dare. It's allowed me to be more of a listener to my husband and his  needs. Not be the first to say something. Most of these dares I realize I do already, but I just don't take the time out to point out because of the book, I got them done. The Love Dare book has been a motivator.
     I mean our marriage is already great before we went to the book store and got the book as a couple. Then in just 20 day's, because of Gods work, and our daily prayers for each other as a couple it's gotten even greater!
     Bert and I are both becoming closer with God. I'm thankful for today's dare. I know I will be okay with GOD and my HUSBAND no matter what happens in my life. I will continue to not only pray for my salvation, but for my husbands as well. I am finally ready to live the dare 100%. And right now I am praying for all that have done the Love Dare, for all currently doing the Love Dare, and for all who have made it already to day 20, and those that might be on the same page as my husband and I. I also am praying for those that are thinking about taking the challenge, that they do it. I pray God will show them this book is just another vessel drawing us near to God.

LOVE DARE DAY 19

     Much of todays dare spoke to my heart. And I didn't realize how suspicious I was of the previous dares and how they were speaking to me. I mean, really speaking to my heart. I've had it on the tip of my tongue and couldn't spit out what I was trying to feel. I, a writer have sometimes been out of a loss for words in a good way on some of the sentences just jumping off the page in the book and previous dares.
     I realized that today's dare and the entire dares before are really about YOU. We all need love and encouragement, and we want it from that certain someone. It has to be wanted from GOD before all else can be right with anything else in your life.
     Love is from GOD. (1 John 4:7.)
     Is there a stirring in your heart? What is God saying to you? God is saying that it is okay for me to tell my husband that some personal things take priority before our time in church. I enjoy going to church. I enjoy waking up and watching Joyce Meyer, I enjoy reading devotionals online. However, that just doesn't always work. I want my husband and I to be that old couple laying in the bed reading each other the Bible and Books about the  bible before we go to bed at night. Bert knows I love books. And he reads music magazines for his "books..." I pick up a new inspirational book to read every now and then. But I want this to be something that he and I can do together on a regular basis. Just not give up because the love dare is over. Pick up with a new book like the love dare. I found it in prayer just a minute ago online. It's a book called Love at Last Sight, with a thirty day dare.
     I also want to start going to a church where they have nice bible studies for couples. I want God to be so close to our marriage. I want God to also direct us in a way that we can read more devotional books like the Love Dare for us to do together in our marriage. I've become to love this feeling of God being in our relationship and letting us talk about things and relating them to the word. It's been a wonderful learning experience so far. Opened up so many great conversations in our relationship. And tomorrow we will take on Dare 20. Half way through and I'm ready to take the rest of the dares!!!
     I'm so lucky my husband and I have taken the Dare and we are on this journey together. One of the biggest blessings in my life is my husband. I understand and know how to truly love someone unconditionally because I believe it's possible to do all things through Christ. Looking at how God has taught me to love, and love my husband I hope that others can see that the Love Dare is changing me. And changing him. It isn't going to happen instantly, it will take time. Prayers are being sent every day. And I know in my heart God is listening =)  God is blessing our relationship daily. I'm so thankful for the ways God has blessed us already.
     There wasn't but one dare that I thought seemed impossible. It was love dares day 7 and 8 I believe. I had to list three of my husbands faults. I thought I was going to have a panic attack. I stayed in prayer for almost an hour to complete the dare and it took all I had to write three faults down. I thought that dare would give me a breakdown. I didn't even want that list in my house. I was so thankful that I had to take the Dare and burn that piece of paper. I watched in delight as the paper curled up into a heart almost. God loves all imperfections. I love all imperfections of my husband. I only wrote down three. But I am reminded I know I have imperfections too. And I know Bert loves me for those imperfections. Just like God does.
  




  



  

List of questions to ask your spouse

     I found these online. I think I might try to answer mine now, and ask Bert his later. Thought these were neat and other followers of my blog could find them helpful too. Some of these questions we might already know. Some we might not. So, for the ones I don't know the answers to, I will ask him during our dinner date tonight =) They are also in the back of the book too! I later found that out!
     Bert took the time over lunch and asked questions. What are three things you do that I like :::
1) Bert plays with my hair at bed time
2) flirts with me in public, at home, over phone
3) the way he says "Heather." Now we are in the baby and honey stage and sometimes I'd like to hear my name. I miss the way he says Heather =)

He said that he liked that I
1) try real hard to get things accomplished
2) when I scratch his back at night to help him fall asleep
3) when I leave him sticky notes with messages behind in his lunch box, on his computer, in his guitar case, in his truck ect =)

I have a surprise planned out for him tonight. I did a 365 photo today of saying, Tomorrow baby, I love you. And I've got a real secret planned for him when he is playing!! I can't wait to see his reaction!! I think he will love it!!! 

This dare was a lot of fun for us. I learned some new things. I didn't know Bert didn't like me biting my nails. I'll have to work on that one. I told him next week we could find a nice show to watch on the history channel together to show him that I love him. He loves history too. He said he would give me a back massage. He said it might be in increments of 15 minutes at a time. I said, I'll keep track of the I owe  you's!! lol. Just kidding!!! 

Either on a date or during a private conversation, try using the questions below to learn more about the heart of your spouse. Allow the topics to raise additional questions that you may want to explore, but keep the mood and focus positive. Listen more than you talk.

Personal

• What is your greatest hope or dream?
• What do you enjoy the most about your life right now?
• What do you enjoy the least about your life right now?
• What would your dream job be if you could do anything and get paid for it?
• What are some things you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t had the opportunity yet?
• What three things would you like to do before the next year passes?
• Who do you feel the most “safe” being with? Why?
• If you could have lunch with anyone in the world, who would it be and why?
• When was the last time you felt filled with joy?
• If you had to give away a million dollars, who would you give it to?

Marital

• What are three things that I do that you really like?
• What are three things that I do that drive you crazy?
• What have I done in the past that made you feel loved?
• What have I done that made you feel unappreciated?
• What are three things that I can work on?
• Of the following things, what would make you feel most loved?
 Having your body massaged and caressed for an hour.
 Sitting and talking for an hour about your favorite subject.
 Having help around the house for an afternoon.
 Receiving a very nice gift.
 Hearing encouragement about how appreciated you are.
• What things in the past do you wish could be erased from ever happening?
• What is the next major decision that you think God would was us to make as a couple?
• What would you like your life to look like five years from now?
• What words would you like to hear from me more often?
Offer encouragement and a listening ear. Refuse to allow this to become and argument or time for you to criticize. Let this be a time for your mate to express themselves.

LOVE DARE DAY 18 Je t'aime

     Today's dare will be easy! I wanted to plan a home cooked meal with all the comfort food we enjoy. Tomorrow Bert and I will be happily together since the first day we said I love you for five years. We got married in '07, but we were together for a year before we got married. We had been together for at least nine months, then we started talking about marriage. I think in July, then the wedding followed in November. Bert has to play tonight and tomorrow night. Those nights we usually eat out. And when you have a sit down and dine out dinner, you really can't say too much of what's on your mind with little ears around.
     God is so amazing on how he can speak to you! And guide you and direct your path. It's funny how this dare falls on a day where I had already planned a romantic dinner for two, at home. God spoke to me when we got the love dare book. God has spoken through me and I know my husband has seen a better change in me. Today's dare reminds me just how much God already has our pages in life written out for us.  I have to keep reminding myself God is always at work. This book just opens my eyes more and more everyday.
     I thought that I knew my husband before marriage. In many ways I felt like he did not tell me what he really thought. Sometimes, men are so hard to read. I look at my little brother, my Mom has to ask the 100 questions game with him. I think it's a man thing. I understand differences between men and women. The one thing Bert and I do have in common is music. We have mutual friends because of music. Half of our conversation is usually about music.
     My husband quickly saw my interest/hobby is photography. Not being able to afford a camera of my own, my husband got me a nice start out point and shoot. Then I realized, my husband and I share photography too!! The same week  he bought me my camera, my wedding ring was due to come in the mail. I thought the box was my camera. I couldn't wait for Bert to come home to open it. He said just wait... and I said, no what if it's my camera! I could tell by the way he was talking there was something else up his sleeve. I opened it up with him on the phone, and much to my surprise it was not my camera, it was his and hers engagement and wedding bands. He officially asked me to marry him over the phone. Then later that week, he asked me in front of my parents in my child hood back yard =) He got down on one knee and asked!
     I could write a book about my photography adventures. And where my husband has helped me along the way with buying my first camera. Now I'm shooting with a top of the line camera. Not just anyone would get a girl like me a camera like that. It shows his love, and he understands my passion for photography. Bert could write about his music adventures. He could write how I help him get people to come to shows, how I have been his biggest fan attending more than every single show.
     But we do have our differences. I am 27, and he is 51. He is going to react to situations differently than I because he is older and much more mature. I have that part figured out. I still want to keep him spunky and feeling young. I want to read my husband like a book that I understand. But sometimes, he is so hard to read. I don't want to even attempt the guessing what are you thinking about game. I do want to know more. I just wish he would tell me more. I'm here and ready to listen. But from here on out, I will make sure my husband is my chosen field of study. I want to go to the school of Bert Guidry and learn anything and everything. Even to this day, I would forget his favorite color is blue, except for the house we live in has blue walls.
     I want him to take notice in this blog. When he is on stage playing, as he plays music for an extra income, I can't sit there and ask him questions about his evening. How he is feeling. Because he is doing what he loves. But I'd love for us to have some quality off times from now on in the future on his off weekends to go and rediscover us. We did that on a weekend about this time last March and stayed in a cabin. I didn't know my husband liked to fish. My Dad brought his fishing poles and tackle boxes and Bert hooked it right on up. Me on the other hand, my fly road got stuck in a tree!! Just my luck!! But I like those weekends. Those weekends are few and far between. I'm dropping hints that those weekends need to take priority too. Even if it is just getting away to Dauphin Island and staying one night. =)
     And last year on our bible study for couples, it was even more amazing how God spoke to us in that cabin in the woods. Last year was our fourth year, and God made us search four different languages of how people say I love you. But first we had to list some people that are hard to get along with in your life and pray for them with your spouse. The bible verse was Matt 5:43 I listed these...
1) Je t'aime
2) Aloha wau ia 'oe
3) Ti amo
4) Nga Chola Gagai Yo. Nga Chola Tsewa Yo

Secrets don't make friends!!!

     I have been thinking about us very much the past several days. I still have no voice. It's been hard to talk about what my feelings are about the dares. I think that's why I'm so thankful for blogger. I can let my husband hear my thoughts through my writing. But I've been thinking about my husband, my relationship with God, and my relationship with my husband. I prayed to help me calm myself, to be less anxious, and to be less needy. Bert and God are the only two things I need in my life. Everything else just falls into place.
     I looked up scriptures in the bible about being calm. I found this one I really related to : I will instruct you, and teach you the way to go; I will watch over you and be your adviser. Psalm 32:8. That verse is just very calming. Our foot notes in our bible tells us, not to be like the horse that will not go where it's rider wants it to go. It has to be disciplined because it is stubborn. God does not want to muzzle or bridle his people like a horse. He expects his servants to respond promptly to Him of their own accord. Then I could only imagine, when we have a dispute, Bert asking our neighbor for her bridle for her horse for me! EYE OPENER! Honey, I promise to be more self disciplined. It will take time. But I don't like being stubborn. I'm not like that horse all of the time!! And I don't ever want to be like that horse again!!
     I have always found Matthew 6:25-34 to calm me when I am anxious at night and having problems sleeping. "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you  not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor, spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these..."
     What this tells me is that we don't always give priority to what we really should. What matters shouldn't matter the most. God and my husband should only be the good things I think about at night before I rest. Not any other matters... God knows our tomorrows. I should get plenty of sleep at night. My mind shouldn't wonder all over the place and race with anxiety. I should desire God and give my anxious troubles to him. It's easier said than done sometimes. I mean who from time to time doesn't worry and loose sleep. Why  has it become so normal for us to not always put our faith in the Lord? And why do we think we can fix a problem when we can't?
     Getting back to today's dare on secrets, I will safeguard our secrets in a fireproof box with lock and key. I already do. He is my everything. I will not break that trust and speak with anyone else about my husbands personal feelings, thoughts... I maybe the only one who knows. I confide in my husband a lot.  I think it's okay to have that one particular person to confide in that's a female who has been there before you. I mean, been in your shoes. Married a long time. One that can give you advice. Because you know you share the same aspects in a marriage. But I don't tell her the deepest darkest secret.
     But that also got me to thinking. Does my husband have secrets? IF so, if he shared them with me would they be secrets? Unless he specifically said, don't tell so and so. I mean yeah, I'm clear on that one. But I don't think secrets personally are good in any kind of relationship. Secrets don't make friends. The break up friendships. I don't want our  marriage to break up because I happen to tell a secret and didn't know it was just supposed to be us. I tell my husband EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. I do tell him important things going on in my life. But never thought of one of them really being a secret. He shares with me from time to time about issues at work. I know those would be secrets. But I'm not going to run to his co-workers and blab on Bert.
     Secrets bring in that key word TRUST. Trust is one thing in life that seems to get damaged at a very early age for almost anyone. Take a look at  your childhood friends, how many of them do you still have? Was this based upon them pinky swearing to not to tell a secret. And then they told you and it hurt you and broke their trust? However, Bert, thank heavens, is one of those rare individuals in life that you could literally trust with your life. In the midst of my illnesses, and unemployment issues, family crises and well every day life, everything that life has thrown at a couple... he never gave up. If I have any secrets I know they are in that fireproof  safe with Bert locked with a key to his heart.
    Just as I hope he knows they are safe with me too!! I LOVE YOU HONEY!






  
  

The greatest gift you can give your husband is PRAYING FOR HIM!

     I really love this love dare. Each day, I begin to realize more and more about myself and God, and about my husband and God. Since I started the love dare challenge, I have been doing nothing but PRAYING for our marriage and for my husband. And for myself as well. That's right myself. Praying for yourself isn't selfish. I think we tend to pray for others before we pray for our own lives. This love dare is teaching me to start praying more for my own marriage and my life with my husband. I still pray for others, that's what the bible tells us to do, as well as pray for our marriage.
     My husband is the best thing that has happened in my life. When I was a kid, I only used to pray for a husband that would be just like Bert. Hence, God worked over time in my prayers and found the right one. When I placed my first post, I prayed to God, that our love be a success story from the Love Dare. This is such a great book. It's not meant just for marriages with troubles, it's meant to show you that marriages can work. And work together and pray together.
     I pray that God continues to work in our marriage. I read online that a bride treats her wedding dress that same way. After wearing it on the day we get married, I covered it up, and protected it. Then I set it aside from everything else in my closet. You won't catch me in it when I'm working and doing chores in the house or a night out on town. My wedding gown is a value all on it's own. It's holy and sacred to me. Just like my marriage.
     I want to protect our marriage and wrap it up with prayers for God. I want our marriage to be ours and different from anyone elses. (Different in our special way.)  The only way it will be different is knowing how to pray for each other in our marriage to God. The Love Dare tells us to pray for his heart, pray for our attitudes, pray for our responsibilities before God, pray for a genuine break through in our marriage.
     I will admit, I found today's dare easy! One I didn't have to think outside the  box for. The greatest gift you can give your husband is the gift of lifting his name and his needs before the throne of God. Prayer for your husband releases the energies of God, prayer is asking God to do what you cannot do. "Elizabeth George"
      Praying for my husband did not feel foreign to me at all. When we started this love dare, I began looking for scriptures to read that Bert would be just as interested in this love dare as I am. And I've been doing that every day since. It's wonderful that this dare is in this book. I wonder how many marriages quit the book because of hectic schedules and don't even get to dare 16. And I wonder how many marriages end because people are to quick to not want to take the time and let God do the work for them. Like I said, praying for yourself, and your marriage is not selfish.