LOVE DARE DAY 15

LOVE DARE DAY 15- Choose a way to show and honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It maybe holding the door for her. It might be putting his clothes away from him. It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes. ...I... will also honor them and they will not be significant. (Jer:30:19)

     This idea for the dare is just awesome! It reminds us that there is no other reason that we shouldn't just do this dare on any other day of the week. And not just on special occasions. I need to be more considerate in the ways that I listen to the way he hints around that I need to get certain things done. I majored in communications and sometimes, he doesn't come out and tell me. He just thinks I should get things done. I can't read his mind. But I do ask what should be done.
     I'm a good listener. I just wish he would go ahead and tell me instead of me walking around the house looking for something to do. My husband is hard to read. I know when he is tired. I know when he needs his rest. I know when he is hungry and when he won't be due to his work schedule. But as far as what to do for my chores fall short. I do the things I see that need to be done.
     I need to take more time and remind myself to listen more carefully with his thoughts and actions. I can't read my husband like a book all the time. I can when he gets off work. I can before he goes to work. But I want to be able to read him more. Each page front and back I want to learn. I guess that comes with years of marriage. I want to be there one day. Some days it would give me a headache if I even tried to read to read his mind. There is a lot that goes on in my husbands mind. 90% of it is music and work. I can tell when he is concentrating on something because he bites his tongue with his teeth. lol.
     If I wasn't tone deaf, I could go and tune his guitar for his practice tomorrow night. That would be something for sure that would show honor!!! However, I think by me watching the way I listen and speak will be an even bigger dare for myself. Tuning a guitar could even be easy to someone that's tone deaf. But listening to his actions as to what I need to get done or do more of would really be a bigger accomplishment for myself and for him. I think he would love that one =) I think this would show him that I do honor and that I do obey him.
     Some other things I could do are, carry his music equipment into the bar, make sure he has every thing he needs when he walks out the door for somewhere, (been leaving cell phone ALOT lately at home...) and try not to ask to spend money when we have bills and other priorities that come first. I know he would LOVE THAT one =)

Love Dare Day 14!

     Bert and I both read today's dare, but we didn't complete or follow through with it. I'm still out of order with no voice. However, I think Bert completed the dare, and I didn't. Bert gave up practicing on his bass, enjoying his evening at home just lounging. He took me to a movie and a dinner. The evening was successful! I relearned my husband does listen to my needs and wants. I've been wanting to go see a movie for a long time. Didn't matter what movie. Just get out and do something we usually don't do.
     I didn't put up a fight about where we ate or what movie we saw. I was just as excited that my husband suggested going to a movie and a dinner!!! We have only been on two movie and dinner dates since he and I first got together six years ago!!! SERIOUSLY!
     I think I tried this morning to complete the dare. I let him nap this morning. I slept in. And when I got up and moving he was ready for his morning nap. I let him sleep for an hour uninterrupted. I let him snore. I didn't wake him up like I usually do. He only snores when he is really tired, or needs that rest. I let him sleep and enjoy his snoring.
     What I neglected was going to the grocery store. We had planned on going all morning. I gave up going with him, so he could sleep. I can't go grocery shopping by myself with no voice and not being able to talk to the cashier. Talk about me ordering my dinner tonight! That was funny!!! The waiter brought me a tea and not a coke and I couldn't even speak up to say he brought me the wrong drink. Finally Bert did!!
     I really enjoy time with Bert. I loved how the dare talked a lot about romance and mushy things in the bible. And we ended up going to see a mushy romantic movie!! =) I like mushy things though.
     Most of all, I liked doing something out of the ordinary. Days start blending in, routines get so usual. Changing up the scene from time to time makes me oh so happy. I could watch movies all day long. I have a movie list out the ying yang. I was so happy he wanted to go sit through a movie with me. And I didn't even have to suggest going!!!

     You are wonderful honey!! Thank you for this great evening to remember!!!
    

Love Dare Day 13 Disagreeing with dignity.

    

I also wanted to include the “rules of engagement” for the blog because they’re so great:

“We” boundaries are rules you both agree on beforehand, rules that apply during any fight or altercation.  And each of you has the right to gently but directly enforce them if these rules are violated.  These could include:

1. We will never mention divorce.
2. We will not bring up old, unrelated items from the past.
3. We will never fight in public or in front of our children.
4. We will call a “time out” if conflict escalates to a damaging level.
5. We will never touch one another in a harmful way.
6. We will never go to bed angry with one another.
7. Failure is not an option.  Whatever it takes, we will work this out.

 “Me” boundaries are rules you personally practice on your own.  Here are some of the most effective examples:

1. I will listen first before speaking.  “Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” (James 1:19).
2. I will deal with my own issues up-front.  “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3)
3. I will speak gently and keep my voice down.  “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).

      

     Love and fighting. Love and fighting fair! Love lets the other win and now we have to fight fair! Now, here is a  dare that will really get you thinking! Here is our evening, just as an example. I'm going on a date with my hubby. And I'm pretty excited. However, there is always a little tension till we figure out where we are going to go for dinner. As, I only eat certain things limits our selection. We always have to compermise here. 

     And this is usually where the fight starts. Low blows happen. All over food. But we just had that yesterday, but too greasy, but their fries aren't good, but this and that and the other from me. I don't think I am trying to pick a fight. Just trying to pick a place to eat. So why does it end in a fight? Because, I need to think before I speak! 

     That brings me to the first "me" boundary! In any fight, I need to think before I speak. That is a weakness I have... I'm too quick and hot headed and don't blow off steam too easily.  That is one weapon I really need to change. I will start speaking gently, and keep my voice down. 

     By the way Bert still won yesterdays fight by default!! I still don't have a voice! Keeping my voice down on a fight was super easy yesterday. Maybe the Lord has done this to remind me of a few things and to take into consideration about thinking before I speak reguarlly. 

     Another list of "me" would be to not use the words, you always, or you never. Another fight is, you always want to play music on your off weekends.  You never want to spend time with me, because you are playing music. WOW. I just read those. I need to imagine that my husband cares a lot about his music. And when he hears those words, I'm sure it pokes him or pushes his buttons. It would push mine for sure. 

     

     Since "Me" boundaries are rules you personally practice on your own, I wasn't going to post them on here. However, I want my husband to know so that way he can start to see the improvements =) 

     1- I need to think before I speak

     2- I won't  use the words YOU NEVER

     3- I won't use t he words YOU ALWAYS

     

     I love today's Love Dare, I want the other side to be healthier during a fight. The deepest damage I have ever done is say things before I think in a conflict. Fighting fair means changing my ways. I will memorize the rules that the blog listed, and make a list of our own. I pray that I will be able to change my evil ways of fighting. 

Love lets the other one win!

     Can you say Day 12!!! I feel so accomplished in my love dare! I've been able to turn the dares into my daily photos, been able to turn my dares into loving my husband more, and today, I have to let him win a fight! Shouldn't be too hard to do considering, I DONT HAVE A VOICE! Oh, he gets off so easy on today's dare!!!
     Right now, I'm giving my husband what he really appreciates. Playing his bass. He is playing his bass in the kitchen! Now, he has a man cave. A recording studio is a better term. But this morning, he chose the kitchen. I can't watch my tv. I can't hear my phone ring. I can't hear my own thoughts. Sorry if this blog is a bit choppy. He said I hope you don't mind. I don't mind. Honest. But the cats do. I'm more worried about where they will run and hide because DADDYS big bass amp is in the kitchen!
     So, I can pass through the kitchen and get a glass of coke, and not say a WORD! Allergy season. Bad asthma attack this morning. I couldn't put up a fight even if I wanted to right now. And, I'm enjoying some of the songs he is playing. Most people would say this is not an easy dare to do. Sometimes I put up a big fight. But when it comes to his hour of Bert's time, he usually gets it playing his bass. I'd rather us be heading out to go get pizza! By the way, I had to write that down to tell him I was hungry.
     But with today's dare, I'm letting him have his time in the kitchen playing his bass. Regardless of him having a studio or man cave to go play in. I know what he has to learn before tonight. I will not stop him. I will not fight him on this. I am willingly letting my husband practice in the kitchen. Oh my... he should appreciate this blog! Giving into this battle didn't cost me a thing. I actually wish he would practice in the kitchen more often. I'm sure he thinks I get tired of  hearing him play. That's why he goes to the studio. In reality, I like the company. I like t he sound of music. Always loved music myself.
     By letting him win this battle, I think it will really improve our future to show that he can have his time with me in the next room. I hope it shows I want to be a part of his music. I love you Mr  Bert Guidry!

Love Lets the Other Win

Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests others.  – Philippians 2:4

A Lifetime lesson from day eleven!

     Two are better than one. I chose to help my husband with putting in the light fixture, with a smile on my face. He had to stand up on a chair to reach the ceiling. Yes, my tall Bert, still has to stand on a chair for things like that. There were four, four foot lights he had to install in the light fixture. I could only imagine him getting off and on the chair four different times and how much time that it would take up.
     I gladly helped him unwrap one of the fixtures when he brought it home. I also handed him the lights as he put each one in the over head fixture. I began thinking how much time he would have spent on that, if I didn't gladly help him out. I began thinking maybe 30 minutes or so.
     In that time I helped him save, I knew he could do something else with it. Two is better than one with accomplishing household tasks. Instead of asking, hey honey, can you do this or can you do that. I will from now on ask, do you need any help or assistance with this or with that.
     I wonder how much time out of our day that we could save by always being willing to help our husbands. Seems sometimes we are more willing to help that perfect stranger walking with a cane in the grocery store than our own mate. We become selfish in our marriage. Not because we want to, but we let the routines of the day consume what we could be doing to help the other.

LOVE DARE DAY ELEVEN

     Day eleven! Love cherishes. Scripture Verse: "Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies." Eph 5:28. THE DARE: What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or a foot massage? Is there housework that you could help with? Choose a gesture that says... "I cherish you..." and do it with a smile.
     This day gave an interesting perspective on how we should cherish our spouse. This is osmething that comes natural int he early days of our relationship and marriage. We think everything they say and do is wonderful. One day you wake up and realize that your spouse isn't perfect. And over time we began to take them for granted and cherish them less. In my case this was very unintentional.
    Okay, ladies, just because this scripture is talking to husbands, doesn't mean that we don't have to listen to it. In fact, we have to listen to every word. Look at it this way, if you broke your favorite necklace, you would do everything in your power to fix it right? Just like a man gets hurt by when his vehicle is broken, or his motorcycle, or his guitar. Well, it's the same with marriage. Because things aren't always going smoothly doesn't mean it's time to kill the relationship because it's going to be too expensive to fix. You work at it to try to fix the problem. You save money and take it to a mechanic. Or with marriage, you save money and go fix your problem with a marriage counsler.
     If we love our spouse like we love ourselves, then we should always try our best to take care of them. IF we love our hobbies, we should love their hobbies and every little thing about them. This means that if you say or do something hurtful to your spouse you are ultimately hurting yourself.  This task again building on all the other aspects and tasks that have been covered so far.
     With all of this in mind, the task for this day was to do something for them that shows them you cherish them. Bert is running an errand to go get a new light fixture in the kitchen. I have been bugging him for a week to go run that errand for me. I'm guessing he has already read today's dare and going to get the fixture with a smile on his face. I think when he gets home, I will eagerly help him fix it with a smile on my face. I feel as if I am starting to run out of tasks to do! I wonder what the next dare will bring us!
     And I think since he actually remembered to bring his cell phone with him today to run the errand, I'll simply text a little, I LOVE YOU to him =) I think that would bring a smile on his face letting him know I was thinking about him....
    

    

Our Love Is Unconditional

    Today's Dare asks us to do something out of the ordinary for our spouse. I've been doing little things here lately out of the ordinary. Making the bed, (which I should do more often, but only been doing it since  we have gotten further into the dare to show my husband I do listen) .... Closing his chest of drawers behind him.... doing dishes more than once a day and actually, and do I dare say it... but I'm learning to enjoy doing the dishes. I'm learning to enjoy it because I see the look on my husbands face after I do them. It feels rewarding sitting there doing the dishes and watching him have his me time on the lap top.
    The dare gives us examples, wash the car, clean the house, buy his favorite dessert, fold the laundry... well, Monday, I folded his laundry just to show I care, Tuesday, I went to the dollar store and found girl scout cookies in his favorite flavor, (still unopened), and yesterday I closed the chest of drawers behind him. I'm starting to run out of ideas. I had to give this dare a little thought.
     I think I could clean the shower door in our bathroom. I don't know why, but he seems to do it often. And I really don't ever think about cleaning the shower door. Growing up, I always had shower curtains! I'd see Mom bleach them maybe once or twice, then go to the store and buy a new one! I am more of a bubble bath person. My tub stays clean 70% of the time. But since our tub and shower are different from each other, I think I may clean the shower door.
     OR.... Last year for his birthday, I made my own coupons for couples.  An example of one said this is a coupon for a shower for two!! Maybe he will pick that one after he sees the clean shower door!!! And this list of coupons has gone untouched for a while. I think this blog will refresh his memory about them. I told him, that the coupons could be used more than once and had no expiration date!!! I think I may tell him to open up the list of coupons and let him have his choice. It's always good to see a refresher like that!
     Unconditional love needs refreshments from time to time! The dare says too many marriages end with the words, "I don't love you anymore." Maybe showing him the coupon book and letting him choose a coupon will refresh the fundamental nature of my true love for him.   The bible says, love hopes in all things, Cor 13:7. I hope my husband enjoys my act in this dare today! Especially since I ended up with a headache to try and think of something that shows our love for each other is a choice. I think letting him choose a coupon will be a prime example of love being a choice. Choosing to love your marriage unconditionally with your husband and walking with the Lord is one of the greatest freedoms you will ever have!!