Rewrite your wedding vows!

     Our life together is before us. I dared to do the Love Dare, and I don't want to ever let this experience go. I'm so thankful for the dare. I'm thankful for today's dare. I was able to look back and use some sayings from the Love Dare in our marriage vows. I'm happy to report that our marriage couldn't be any happier! Well, maybe if we found a suitcase full of 1 million bucks! lol.
     Bert and I went about doing the dares strong willed and God involved. When we put God first in our marriage, everything else fell into place. We have been having a rough patch for the past few months, but with our marriage mentors and reading daily in the bible, it's really helped release extra stress. God has come into our lives and heard our prayers. We have been happier in the past few days as we have been in the whole five years!!! We pray every night and morning as a couple and are regullarly going to church as a couple. Things are better than ever, thanks to God and the Love Dare. Love is out there, you just  have to fight for it and fireproof your marriage!
     This really has been the best VALENTINES DAY Gift I could have given our marriage, beats flowers, chocolates, ect.

     Writing today's vows, I found myself putting words from the Love Dare in there. Words like Biggest Fan, the verse from Ruth, even included the words Love Dare, but I really want to make this a testament to the value of marriage in Gods eyes and the high honor of being one with my husband! I have listed my vows. I was watching Just Married last night. Found the best opening part my vows from that movie. =) But I loved it. And it's so true!!!

Heather: I,Heather Guidry, take you, Bert Guidry, to be my wedded husband. Some days, we love each other. Some days we have to work at loving each other. You never see the hard days in a photo album, but those are the ones that get you from one happy snap shot to the next. Bert Guidry, I will first live unto our God and then unto you, loving you, always respecting, caring for you, and seeking to please you. God has prepared us with the Love Dare in 40 days, for the rest of our life. God has worked over time to prepare you for me. I will always do my best to be your biggest fan, through out life, no matter what may be ahead of us. Where ever you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Most of all, our marriage will be ours. I give myself to you and commit to this marriage for life. I take you Bert Guidry, to be my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live.

Heather: Bert, I love you. I prayed that God would lead me to his choice. Today, I take you to be my husband. Together we will create a home, under God, becoming part of one another God wants us to become. I vow to  help create a life that we can cherish, inspiring your love for me, and mine for you. I vow to be honest, caring and truthful, to love you as you are and not as I want you to be, and to grow old together by each others side as your love and best friend. 

Because Love Never Fails

      I was reminded last night of 1 Cor 13:5, love takes no count. Love doesn't add up the evil. I am sad that tomorrow is the last day of the Love Dare, I have enjoyed this Love Dare 110%. I want to continue to spend time with my husband and do all the small things we have done for each other in this dare. I want to continue to write letters, buy little gifts because I love you, write letters, go on dates, not just because the Love Dare tells us.... because I want to be reminded everyday that I love you, and you love me... Till Death Do Us Part, because Love Never Fails....

     I feel God is working in my heart, and working in my husbands. I'm so glad we are almost complete with this journey together. Today, we were to write letters to one another explaining we loved the other until death do us part. Bert always commands at how great my writing skills are... today, Berts letter made me cry. I don't think Bert was expecting a wave of tears after I read his letter. But I felt God moved both of us in such a way with this love dare. Bert and I will be forever changed by this Love Dare... and I don't know if I said it at all, but big kudos to my friend Brooke for introducing the dares to us again!

Live the Answer to the Question

    Today's Love Dare challenges you to do something out of the ordinary for your loved one. To go above and beyond what you normally do, instead of saying, "NO..." say, lets see how we can do that and make it a dream/go to achieve. Then, do it!
    My husband has lost of dreams. Some he shares with me, and I know he has secret dreams. I haven't asked my husband about today's dare yet, he hasn't done it. I'm sure I will see something like he thinks I should ask him to call out for work to spend a night with me undivided. A night where everyone else thinks he is working. Or, I'm sure he will say she will want to go to a bed and breakfast. Those are my simple dreams. One that you can't put a price on, the other you can. Or  I'm sure one of his thoughts might be that my dream would be for his music to slow down or for him to say no to a future gig on his off weekend.
     The thing is my husbands "mapped out" music dreams here lately just don't seem to include much "us..." time. Any of the above listed would be great. I used to not let things become so overwhelming and busy that it seemed like he didn't have time for me. I guess that was the kid in me. Now, I'm seeing the adult approach. Music takes up so much time, I miss the time we used to have. I would love that back.
     I want my husband to understand, I just care about him. He isn't getting any younger. I want to spend as much time as I can with him while I can... and hopefully NOT beg for it. Lately here I've been doing a lot of begging for emotional personal time. I shouldn't have to beg. But he is so heavily involved with his  music, he often forgets I'm there. That's how I've been feeling. I hate admitting to being that girl, but yes... I just want to for one of my dreams when asked, have a much needed quality time alone night with just my hubby. That's my dream. Doesn't matter where, doesn't matter when... just soon!
    
    

Permanent Prayer Partner for Life

     I personally love this dare and was waiting on a dare like this to come about. I'm glad that this dare is in the book. Bert and I have done a couples bible study and we started doing that last year. He more so than I was a little uncomfortable. I know he prays. But doing out loud with me, might also become a little uncomfortable. I don't want to make him do anything he doesn't want to do, but with this dare, I hope he accepts the challenge.
     I respect my husband. I know that he is  a praying man and is praying for me. I am so thankful for a praying husband (even though silent) and knowing that we pray whispers for each other all day every day. But I still think this love dare will bring us closer into praying aloud for one another.
     Just got done telling him this morning, you can't pray for your finances and sit here and not help me balance and keep the check book right. I've been sick all week. I expected the books to be kept neat the same way I had been keeping them. I guess I need to pray for my husband to be a little neater with his ledger. What is it with men and notebooks? They can keep a house spotless (mine can) but a notebook so unreadable! ha! Babe, I love you!!! And I'm praying for you to come together and pray with me soon!! You will be glad you shared your thoughts!

Read your bible EVERY DAY ::: COMMIT TOGETHER!

     I need Gods counsel in my life to help me quit smoking. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I just found out that I have pneumonia. I feel I am susceptible to failure in this because I have friends that are smokers. My husband smokes. We are in the bar atmosphere a lot. We will it seems always be around that kind of behavior.
     I'm praying that God can show me more verses like Philippians 4:13. Verses to give me the strength and the want to quit smoking. I'm doing this for my health.
     I hope my husband is open to having a daily reading. A reading where, cell phones are turned off, tv is off, with maybe a little low gospel music in the background. I made the trip to Booksamillion last week and got us a pair of daily journals. I've read only three in mine. I've slacked because Bert hasn't picked up his yet. Maybe, he will pick up his after he reads this devotional for today.
    I hope so. =) First he has to commit to do it. I don't want to pressure him. I really hope he does. I pray for him every day to pick up a new chapter in the bible just like I do and share it with me. He does every so often. But I'd like for it to be every day! I pray for him that it is every day!

Love Dare Day 36

     Well, I'm sick again. The doctor I went and saw yesterday said I have pneumonia. More rounds of antiboitics (sp) pills steroids. I tried to read today's love dare, but I just couldn't concentrate. However, I have quit smoking for two days. I'm praying that God will allow me to quit smoking for good. My neighbor I picked as my mentor said a few sweet things to me this morning. Blessings. =) Hopefully I will get over this cold soon, so I can get back to finishing the love dare, and reading more in my bible.

Marriage Mentor

     Bert and I from time to time do need a referee.  We do need some counsel from time to time. What couple doesn't? I have chosen a couple that goes to church with us, and they are our neighbors. She said her and her husband come as a pair and I could talk to either one of them if need be. She said she would be a great cheerleader for Bert and I.
     Bert and I do from time to time run into trouble. But we work things out. I would choose my mother, but that would be the leaving issue. Bert seems to think I tell my mom too much. But I do always appreciate her opinions as well. I look up to my mother and use her as an example. My Dad and her have been through so much and still married for almost 35 years.
     I am glad I listen to both my mother and my neighbor. I know sometimes that 40 days isn't enough and it's going to be sad seeing the Love Dare pass us by when it's complete. The Love Dare is like a diet, you don't stop when you reach your goal, you change your habits to maintain it. I'm so in love with my husband and more and more; I'm in love with God. I have been able to realize that I don't control everything, that I don't have to.
     God is first, then my husband. I feel that God is going to use my husband and I as a vessel and a voice through the Love Dare and after the Love Dare. God can mend and repair anything. God longs to come through us, in our daily life. And through prayer God allowed me to ask my neighbors to be our counsels. We don't need marriage counseling. But it's always nice to have a healthy set of Christian friends to talk things over with. I couldn't think of anyone better than my neighbors to help us along the way!!!
    




    

Real Life

     I have learned some amazing things about myself and my husband just by doing the love dare. We have both opened ourselves to God and let God work through us. I am so glad to have been led to the Love Dare. I just said yesterday that the closer we grow to God, the closer we grow to each other.
     God has big things in the future for my husband and I. Just the other day I wanted to praise Bert for finding a drummer and guitar player to play bass with in church. I really wanted to tell him and let him know, that his music is a gift from God. He needs to play in church a few times out of the month and send praises himself to God for allowing him to have such a talent that he does.
     He is an awesome musician, and I'm a very blessed woman. So many people the other night were asking the name of my husbands band, I shared, and they loved it. Back 2 Soul. In a way, I feel the name is perfect. Getting back to basics if you will, with yourself. I feel that's what Bert and I are doing, with the love dare.
     Just this morning, I want to tell Bert I was proud of him. He woke up at 7 and made use of his morning. He did the love dare, cleaned the kitchen dishes, and read a few chapters in Isaiah. I was very pleased. The bible says to save your heartiest congratulations with your spouse when they are honoring God with their worship and obedience. Maybe my daily morning bible reading is starting to rub off a bit on him. lol.
     I have to read the bible in the morning! I must. It starts out my day great. I can almost hear the Devil saying, UGH OH-She's AWAKE! lol. That's right, awake and guarded by reading the word. And I agree, that from the moment you close your bible in the morning, nearly everything during the day will be a far fletched stretch of the truth. But the meaning of "REAL LIFE" changes dramatically when we understand that God's Word is the ultimate expression of what real life is.

Dear Honey,

     I looked online for ways to surprise your spouse. Just something special that I could do to show you I loved you. I decided to not go tonight to give you an evening alone to do what you want... that was on the list was giving your husband a free night with the guys...
     I decided to be indapendant and stay at home tonight to watch movies and play with the kitties. I know you love your music, and need guy time. I decided to give you some free time. It's my way of saying, go ahead take off, have a guy night, have fun! I know who you are coming home too! I promise not to resent the time away. I'll hold down the fort with the dog and the cats until you get home!!!
     I also left a little note on your facebook!! Hope you like it, it reads, I am very proud to call you my best friend, Happy to call you my lover, and blessed to call you my husband!! =)
     I also don't expect anything in return, but I think tomorrow I have a plan for us!! This was also on the 10 ways to surprise your spouse. Go to a bookstore or music store together, then split up. Your mission: buy something you know they'll love. Then wrap and exchange at dinner!! I think that would be fun!!

Just six more days!!!

     Just six more days!! I only feel bad that we took two days off for a mini vacation. If we hadn't taken them off, however, our dares would not have been right on target. Each dare we each grow closer to God. Also, the closer we grow to each other. Just growing in our faith, grows us as a couple. How amazingly beautiful this entire experience really has been.
     I just wanted to write and express how much I have loved accepting the dares. And previous dares are becoming more of a daily routine now. I'm glad we have our own copies of the book. As I know, and need to be reminded of some of the dares daily.
     I want to celebrate over the triumph of the dare in our marriage!! I'm looking forward to reading the next six dares. Looking forward to it enough I want to read ahead!! But then I don't have a day to reflect on each dare!! lol. I'm also happy that my husband can see a success in our marriage already!
     Just shows us that God and marriage are a beautiful thing together!

Bert completes me

     God is right on time with this dare for today. One question in the dare reads, do you have big decision making to do regarding your finances? Eye opener!! Bert just last week gave me the bank ledger and said, here honey, your in charge. But we both still are in charge of the bank ledger. I'm just keeping a log of my own instead of using a checkbook, I'm using a notebook.
     That's a big decision Bert made on his own. He handed it to someone who is bad in math, but thank goodness for calculators! Bert used to hate to talk about finances with me. And now, we can both take the weight and do it together. This goes along with the "oneness and unity," mentioned in today's dare again.
     I love being able to help Bert with finances. Not that he was bad at it before, but I couldn't imagine doing it all on my own. I want to show him I appreciate his hard work, and I can show him that by taking charge in finances and using money for what it needs to be used for, over wants.
     Today the dare has pointed out to me that my role in marriage is just as important as my husbands. I used to just stand there and nod while Bert talked about finances and money. Now, I know what's going on. I don't have to just nod. We can both help each other manage money and be effecient with our banking.
     As long as Bert and I work on this together, we can do this! I think we also  need to set aside some one on one time and pray about our finances together. We need to pray that God will help us so things can get better around here. Not that it's bad, it's been a blessing. God has shown us we can make it through tough financial issues. I'm so thankful for today's dare. However, I know this will be one that we might have to go back and re-read again even after we complete day 40.
  

Love Dare Day 32

     Kinda amusing that this dare ended up being on an important night in our relationship. The dare, try to initiate sex with your husband today. Yesterday's dare was a blessing to both of us. God allowed us to have a very enjoyable experience together.
     In regards to the dare, sex/intimacy has never been an issue with Bert and I. We have always had a healthy sex life. Reflecting on the dare, I love how it showed the spiritual side of intimacy. There was nothing more beautiful than sharing this dare with my husband, who I love so much.
     The rest of my thoughts on this dare will be written in the pages provided in the book!! No, not sharing the entire experience on a blog!! lol. Sorry!!!


    

Dare to walk as ONE

     God's decision to make you "one flesh" in marriage can make anything possible. With God all things are possible!!

     You are able to achieve oneness in your decision making, even when you begin from differing viewpoints.
     You are able to achieve oneness in your priorities, even though you've come together from backgrounds that could  hardly be more different.
     You are able to achieve oneness in your sexual affections toward each other, even if either of you both have memories of impurity in your pre-maritial past.

     The only leaving issue Bert and I had discussed was, I tend to tell my parents a lot. But that's only because they ask questions and they care about what Bert and I are doing. I don't tell them everything. If they ask, I will tell them. I don't like to hide anything from my parents. I'm always very open when talking to my parents. And I know Bert feels blessed to have good mother and father in laws. Family is so important in a marriage.
     I mentioned one in law issue on Bert's side. It has stopped. But it still rings in my ears. I told him I would leave it behind. I've already forgiven. I also need to forget and leave the problem. This kind of thinking will allow Bert and I to move forward and leave little tiny things like this behind us. It's one less thing to worry about.
     I love my husband very much. I respect what he pointed out to me. I know he respects what I pointed out to him. This is a very important dare, and I'm so glad I could share this with my husband, and I know he is glad he could share is thoughts with me.
    



  

Love Brings Unity

     I want this to be a good conversation with my husband. Isolate one area of division in your marriage. Look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it.  I want to let my husband know, I feel a bit left out when he plays his music and he doesn't talk to me about booking gigs. I want to discuss this freely and openly. I want to discuss a fair strategy for future dates booked.
     I hope he doesn't see this as me being selfish, or nagging him about his music once again. You see, he used to always ask, is it okay if I book a gig on this date? He is so excited he has a great band going. I understand and share his excitement.
     I wish that he would be glad that I want to be a part of his music, as much as I want to be a part of him.   I just feel that he plays so much now, that it's taking away from our unity.  I mean, just because he has an off weekend, doesn't mean he has to spend it playing music.
     We could take the motorcycle somewhere. We could take a mini weekend vacation. I mean I could see him playing one night out of the weekend. And leaving one night for he and I. And this doesn't have to be every weekend. Just maybe one weekend out of the month as a get away weekend.
     I will listen to what he has to say. I know he has been listening to my wants and needs. He has already found a drummer and  a guitar player to play a few songs in our church together one Sunday out of the month. I hope to see God show my husband it's okay to take a break from playing music and spend "Unity" time with me.
     I want God to show Bert, that just because the phone is ringing off the hook to play dates, doesn't mean he has to take them. I want God to show Bert, that it's okay to say no, I want some time this weekend with my wife. He sometimes acts like he would be letting his band mates down. In reality he lets me down playing music all the time.
     I want him to be able to actually appriciate an off weekend. Not being rushed to go anywhere. Not having to eat out and be on the go. One where we can do things around the house. Cut the grass he has been talking about doing. Things like that.
     And if this is called me being selfish, then I ask God to take the selfishness out of my heart. Today's dare seems to be just a continuing work on the same issue. I'm the one causing the division with my selfishness. God has been showing me a little at at time that I need to focus more on Him. And not put my trust/hope in outside influences.
     What does this all mean for me? I pray for God to take my mind off of ME. And what my NEEDS are. And to focus it on my husband and God. I know this will get easier with time. I want to commit to God and my husband and make my marriage the top priority over every other human relationship and earthly activity.

I will follow you

     Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me. Psalm 119:133

     Today's DSRWJ reminded me of my favorite poem:

Love is tangible!

     I hate to disappoint anyone, but Dare 29 is something I do almost twice a day. I pray often that my husbands day will be filled with blessings and telling my husband I love him is very easy (more than 90% of the time!) This dare was no dare at all!!!
     But lets take a look at the meaning of tangible...
     Possible to touch.
     I am reminded of a quote from the movie A Walk to Remember, "Our love is like the wind. You can't see it, but you can feel it.
     It also means possible to understand or realize. We are supposed to express love to our hubby in some tangible way today. I want Bert to understand and realize that I love him unconditionally, the way God loves both of us.
     Talking to my friend about this dare she suggested I get three tangerines and carve in them I <3 U! This Dare inspires me to continue to keep praying for my husband. Show him daily in my actions that  I love him in concrete! Because it is set in stone. He knows I do, but maybe I should show him more with little tiny tangible things and ways.
     I think this is a good dare for anyone. I've been challenged today to think of the tangible way to show love, since we always say I love you. We are still in the honey moon stage. We say I love you a lot still. So saying I love you in a meaningful way because of the dare to show him it's about the dare, will be a challenge. I think getting the tangerines would be a good start!!! He likes little things like that.
     Irvington Minute Mart here I come!!!

Our Love Dare #29 said to say I love you in a tangible way...
I decided to carve out I ♥ U in tangerines! I left them on Bert's computer. Today's dare was easy. We constantly tell each other we love the other one. We are still in our "Honeymoon" stage I guess!! So, I had to make an impact on this saying I love you... here it is!!!

  

Ask in prayer

     "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:22

     Today's DSRWJ says to pray for your children. I have no children of my own, however I have six step kids I love just the same. I also have three babies that walk on fours, covered in fur. Five if you count the chickens!  Today's prompt says, Lord, please provide those things that they (children) need, and fill them with contentment as they bask in the warmth of your love.
     Berts kids were already almost grown and married and had families of their own when we met. The youngest two boys and I really get along for the most part of every day life. I used to see them every other weekend on visits. That is until they got older and started having their own schedules in life.
     Bert and I have two cats that we call ours. Melody, Bert named... and Shanobi came to us with her name. I love them to death. I tell each cat in the morning that I love them, and before I go to bed at night. I also buy them little treats during the course of a couple of days. Those treats I feel show them Mom and Dad of the fur babies love them.

If Bert and I had kids of our own, they would be just as spoiled as these cats. I see how Bert loves these cats and I see the love he shared with his kids before I came along. I see the love he shares with his kids now. 

     I have heard that praying for your children is often neglected. But everyone should be prayed for, even your pets! I also looked up some other scriptures about praying for your child     Deut 6:6-7 is pretty clear that God's will for you as a parent is also said, do not neglect prayer with your children. 

     I know my parents prayed with me the nightly prayers as a kid. I know they also prayed for me. I had several health issues when I was younger. I know I'm sure there was at least more than one time being sick I scared my mother half to death and had to be rushed to the ER with Asthma. 

     We need to depend on God for our lives as well as our children's. Pray often for your child, pray with your child, and you can still pray as a couple with your child even as they get older. =)

     

     

    

My sacrifice Love Dare Day 28

     In reading today's love dare, some of this hit home once again. You are supposed to ask yourself these questions....

Is he "hungry?" - needing you sexually, even when you don't feel like it?

Is she "thirsty?" - craving the time and attention you seem to be able to give everyone else?

Does he feel like a "stranger" - insecure in his work, needing home to be a refuge and sanctuary?

Is she "naked?" - frightened or ashamed, desperate for the warm covering of your loving affirmation?

Is he feeling "sick" - physically tired and needing you to help guard him from interruptions?

Does she feel in "prison" - fearful and depressed, needing some safety and intervention?

     God is using me to speak about our circumstances right now. It's amazing how much the love dares have been right on target in our life at that moment. I'm sure my husband would say, he needs me sexually, but sometimes I just don't feel like it. Times when I just don't feel like it, is when I feel like I am, "thirsty" for his time and attention he seems to give everyone else but me. God is allowing me to use this blog as a place to talk it out with him. I hope he has been reading my blog lately. Not sure if he has been or not... haven't been getting many comments lately. But I want to see that he is serious about finding some answers for me.
     The Dare mentions the words, "How can I help you?" I used to work fast food. I'd come home at night and I'd dream about saying, "How can I help you? Would you like to add three shrimp for $.99? Would you like fries and a drink with that?" But sometimes around the house, it's easy to forget those three words, "How can I help you..."
     When I ask him, sometimes all he says is, I just want some lovin'. I guess I don't need to be afraid and ask him, spend some time with me today. I should ignore the headache I get at the end of the day due to a busy schedule and give my husband some lovin'. And he should ignore a phone call or two and rush someone off the phone while we are eating dinner together that I have fixed for us and spend time with me.
     The dare also says, when you help them, you are also helping yourself. That's the beautiful part of sacrificing for your spouse. Jesus did it for us. And he wants you and your spouse to do that for each other. Today's dare is to propose to do what you can do to meet the greatest need in your spouses life right now. 1 John 3:16.
     I propose tonight to have another dinner ready. Maybe this time I will go to the dollar store and pick up some candles and have a candle lit dinner for two with a beer, followed by a relaxing bath and some Bert and Heather time. I hate to do it, but I will unplug the house phone, unplug his computer, turn off my phone, and turn off his phone. Just to get some undivided attention from him when he gets home from work.
     It shouldn't be a tit for tat. I shouldn't hold out on him because I feel he is holding out on me. But sometimes when I feel my needs aren't met, then why should I meet his? Why should I be the one doing all the sacrificing? Sacrifices should be met daily to meet the needs of others. Including your spouse.
     In closing there are days we both make sacrifices for our well being and we do work together to ensure that everything else is taken care of. The being he is hungry and I am thirsty just really spoke to me. I've decided to use this blog to communicate with him on it.
     I need to also start asking myself more, how can I meet his needs, and not how he can meet my needs. That is after all what a relationship is supposed to be. It's been so busy here lately that I feel it's been hard to even try to meet each others needs. I guess that is normal from time to time. That is just why I have been praying for things to slow down. That way I can take the time out to listen to his needs. Even if that means both of us saying no to our favorite activities. We have to remember it's okay to say NO from time to time. Just because someone calls, we don't have to jump.
     I'm asking my husband, if dinner isn't enough, is there any other need that I can meet this evening for you? I think I will even call him and ask him, is there anything I can do to make your evening better tonight when you get home from work? Just hope he has the time to listen to me asking him the question while he is at work!!

Acceptance DSRWJ Day 2

      Proverbs 19:8 to get wisdom is to love oneself, to keep understanding is to prosper.

     Jesus accepted everyone while  he was walking this earth. We should follow in Jesus' footsteps.
     Our verse tells us today that, if you can accept yourself, you will be more able to accept the idiosyncrasies of others. If you are patient with your self, you will almost certainly be more tolerant toward your loved ones. If you can forgive yourself, you can forgive others. Acceptance gradually becomes a way of life.
     How many times was the mention of yourself listed above? Three times. Acceptance must first start with you accepting yourself.
     Lets look at what accept means. Accept means, recognize as true or believe. I was always taught that you must first accept Jesus in your life, before you can start accepting yourself and others. It's important that we accept God.
     If we accept God in our life, then others will see God is in our life. Then maybe others will accept God to. We as Christians are not supposed to want to be accepted by anyone but God. God accepts you scars and all.
     Once you realize that, then you can start accepting yourself as God sees you. Perfect with flaws.
  

Love Dare Day 27 Great Expectations

      "You must choose to live by encouragement rather than by expectations."
      In stead of nitpicking, and trying to change your partner, instead of focusing on what is wrong with them. Encourage them. The Lord knows, I nitpick. I need to choose to find ways to lift my husband instead of pushing buttons. Even if he pushes my buttons, I shouldn't push his, not even at all. I want find my best self and can't do it with someone pushing my buttons, let alone pushing someone else's buttons. And if Bert and I both take this dare seriously than any other dare, through positive encouragement we can totally leave out the nagging all together. I want to be the best wife for him, and I want us to have the best relationship minus the nagging.
     I am a pack rat. Not a hoarder. Just, I like to save little momento's. Bert knew this when we got married. He recently laughed and said, you even saved the hotel room keys? Now, was he politely nagging and trying to tell me to throw them away, or was he surprised that I saved them?
     Bert might say, I'm a slob. There is a difference between a slob and someone who saves nick nacks. When I first met Bert, he had a clean freak ocd. I changed that. I like clean. I don't like clutter, but clean. Our dining room table is taken over by stuff, and our kitchen counter is taken over by stuff. When I first moved it, it was not this bad. I like to hold on to memories ect. keep them for as long as I can.
     However, Bert knew what he was getting into. He doesn't nag me too often about. But I do have to take a little extra time going through it when I clean. But I do need to let one of these obessions go and just give it to God. I really don't think I need to keep each movie ticket, or each hotel room key... do I?
     I know this is the one thing that Bert wishes to nag about, even though he doesn't do this often. But I'm choosing to let this one thing go about me. I'm going to release it from me, take it off my shoulders Lord. Remind me, that's why we have trash cans!!!! It's an on going thing for me, to save the memory, or save the night, I even save wrist bands from concerts !! I have so many of those in my car!! But I need to just let it go!
     I think if I go through and really clean then Bert will see that I've had a changed heart from the Love Dare. I will do this for him. He didn't really put any great expectations for me to be a neat freak like him. But I know he didn't expect a memory savor!!!! lol. I think to solve that issue, I'll save some money and get a scrapbooking kit. I have a box I can put some of the momento's in now. PROJECT!!
     The only hope or great expectation I have of my husband, is that I hope his music slows down for a bit. Just for a bit. A pause for the cause. I'm expecting too much on this issue. He says, we met doing it. But I was rather pleased hearing Bert tell Bob, I think I'd like to get a church band together. Sighs! Now that would be very neat to do one Sunday out of the month. I'm looking forward to the things that God will do for my husband and his music talent. Being it in a bar, or church. I'd rather it be in church. =)
     I will say this, Bert does help out around the house a lot and he doesn't expect me to do everything. We serve each other; well we give it a shot anyway for the most part. When I'm behind on dishes or laundry he helps  me out, when he is behind I call and ask what I can do for him at work. And I get it done when I can. I have long since eliminated unrealistic expectations; in fact, I don't live in a dream world, and my movie might not end with "Happily Ever After..." but some days do, and some days don't. I don't pay attention to detail when it comes to things like that. I know when he comes home from work he is sleepy. I try and manage on my own. He sees it's the best I can do. He does give me words of encouragement time to time. Just sometimes he doesn't take time to notice because he is sleepy, and I've accepted that.
     I know the Love Dare is changing him, just he other day I mopped the kitchen. He tracked in mud from his shoes. He found himself saying, I'm sorry for tracking in mud on your clean kitchen floor. He noticed. Words of encouragement!! He then went and mopped up the area he had tracked in. Made me fell loved that he took the time to notice the small things!! It's the small things that count!!! Like, words of encouragement, not great expectations!